Dear Tjitske,

Dear Tjitske,

I was lying in bed and scrolling through my feed. I would have preferred to say that I had picked up The Stone Bridal Bed by Harry Mulisch, but that wasn't the case. Of course, you came by, because my algorithm knows me and knows that your messages are always welcome. Most of the time, it's something that makes me laugh, or it's something that touches me, like those beautiful photos of your lovely mother, whose genes live on so strongly in you.

Sometimes you send me a heart or even a message. About Flo. And that you would love to photograph her. Really, taking a photo with David Beckham doesn't come close to the sweet feeling I get when I receive a heart from you. Because you are real. Because you laugh at life, at yourself (that joke from the Harry Mulisch book I actually got from you. You were once interviewed about your children and you said: when they come home from school, they dive onto their iPad. I would have liked to say that they played quatre-mains on the piano and read books, but that's not the case. Anyway, something like that).

You were honest again yesterday in your message. You were already in a turbulent phase of your life, as a caregiver and with children in puberty. It's so nice when women, especially women we look up to, dare to let down the shiny jacket of their lives. Not bragging about their children's school achievements while they can barely handle Luzac and find working on their blow-streak more important than their Duolingo streak, but just saying when life is tough.
And you did that. Because in that turbulent time, deep sadness also came. While you were watching over your mother, you suddenly lost your father. And then your mother passed away. That's a lot, too much.

I can imagine how you must have cried when you wrote this message. Sometimes sadness hits extra hard when you look at it through someone else's eyes. Then you think: I'm having a tough time too. And this takes time.

To the list of adjectives that belong to you — beautiful, smart, funny, incredibly good, sweet, intelligent — I have now added one: brave.

I wish you all the best and especially time,
May-Britt

Image: Elvin Boer