Treating someone to a drink or a snack: why should I?
Going out to dinner or for drinks together often means: treating each other to a round. For most people, it's so normal that they don't even think about it. Peggy does think about it. But her answer will surprise you. For her, it's a conscious choice not to treat. Never. ‘Maybe it sounds selfish, but I see it this way: if everyone pays for themselves, then it's fair.’
‘I'm not ashamed of it, but I also know that it's not seen as accepted behavior. For many people, I'm not sympathetic and even stingy, but I prefer to call it: I'm someone who handles money wisely. Don't get me wrong, I love a fun night out just as much as anyone else, but I'm just not someone who makes unnecessary expenses, especially when it comes to paying for others. And before you draw your conclusions: I also don't expect others to pay for me.
Another round
Every time I go out with friends or colleagues, I definitely feel the eyes on me when the moment comes to pay. “Who’s getting the next round?” Well, not me. Sometimes there's an awkward silence where everyone wonders if I'm going to pull out my wallet. But why would I do that? I work hard for my money, and I have other priorities than paying for a round of drinks that disappears in a few minutes. Especially with today's prices! Everyone just wants to drink cocktails, and an Esma costs more than ten euros. I just find that way too much money and therefore a total waste.
Financial stability
Maybe it sounds selfish, but I see it this way: if everyone pays for themselves, then it's fair. If you want an expensive Esma, go ahead! I'll take a soft drink and find it nonsense that I should pay for your expensive drink. If everyone pays for themselves, no one feels uncomfortable, and no one benefits from someone else's generosity. I just don't want to be part of that implicit expectation that I should treat someone and that someone should treat me. If I choose not to treat, it doesn't mean I don't care about my friends. On the contrary, I care a lot about my friends. But I also care about my financial stability, and that's something I don't want to sacrifice for a few cocktails.
Rising costs
Treating seems like a small expense, but if you do it often enough, those costs start to add up significantly. And honestly: I can use that money much better for something that really matters. My dishwasher is nearing its end – a significant expense. People who call me stingy, I'm not. For me, it's about consciously choosing how I spend my money. I'm convinced that if more people understood my way of thinking, they would be less inclined to pull out their wallets without thinking at every opportunity.
Nothing personal
My family and my boyfriend know that it's not personal. It's just a choice I make, based on what makes the most sense to me. And honestly, I think everyone should think a little more before they order the next round. Recently, there was some fuss in our friend group over a Tikkie that needed to be paid after a night out. I was shocked by the amount. Luckily, I don't participate in that exaggerated generosity.’
