Why women don't fall for nice guys

One day it feels like you are a little princess being pampered, the next day he seems to only be able to act annoying. Not doing what you ask, pretending not to understand subtle hints, or just being downright selfish, and when you ask if he would still love you if you were a worm, he bluntly answers ‘no’, even though he knows the only right answer should be ‘yes’. And yet you love him, despite the fact that he can sometimes just be a jerk.

The stupid thing is that we always put men who are too sweet in the friend zone. I've often wondered why that is, but we all know the answer: if your boyfriend is a bit annoying sometimes, it stays interesting. At the moments when he pampers you, it feels extra cozy. That doesn't mean, of course, that he can treat you badly 90 percent of the time and then say sorry once, that's a toxic relationship, but too much sweetness becomes monotonous; a little conflict makes it exciting. Deep down, you know you actually need to be able to be angry at someone for a bit. As long as those annoying moments of his don't lead to fights, it really can't hurt. And as mentioned: there must be balance, of course. My biggest irritation, for example, is when I complain about a work situation and he doesn't engage with me, but holds up a mirror. I have those kinds of conversations with my girlfriends too, but men do it much more bluntly and directly. Then you think: first say that you understand the irritation before you start throwing out advice.

The reverse is actually just as true. Many women who suffer from the monthly cycle know very well that they can be hard to deal with for a few days each month and that they make it impossible for their partner. However, women usually do this in a meaner way, with a little less humor and a bit more biting remarks. That's just part of it; everyone has their moods. And men are just themselves. If we are allowed to have our moods, they secretly have the right to as well, even if it sometimes just doesn't suit us.