You actually lack nothing

And I succeeded. Except for two small moments when I really needed something because it was broken: a yoga top.

It's funny to notice that when you make a decision, you actually don't feel tempted at all. I really didn't have the urge to go shopping even once this past year. Quite strange actually, because I was quite good at it and also quite fond of it. I'm a real girly girl, so you can't really do me a bigger favor than beautiful skirts, high heels, and gorgeous jewelry. I also enjoy the whole ceremony around it.

Just like a friend who stopped drinking could still be triggered by the sound of a cork popping or the clinking sound of wine being poured into a glass, my blood starts to flow faster when I look at a shop window, close the curtain of the fitting room, and especially when I walk out with a well-filled bag of new beauty.

And yet, it's really just something you tell yourself. Because let's be honest: we women already have more than enough hanging in our closets. It's not just that you tend to fall for more or less the same things (of which you already have several hanging in your closet), the question is to what extent you really become happy from yet another new pair of shoes or a new pair of jeans.

I've been quite busy this past year with trying to feel happy again. Taking good care of myself. And what turned out? It's not at all about new clothes. For me, it’s very much about doing fun things with fun people. Being outside a lot. Having good conversations. Laughing until you shake. Sleeping deeply and long. Feeling butterflies in your stomach. Eating healthy. Raising your heart rate every day. And meditating.

The first year is now over, and so the question arises whether I will continue. And I just realized that I already answered that above. I simply don't become the happiest from new clothes. At least, not to the extent that I used to.

Because that's what I've noticed this past year: that I become happiest from good self-care and being grateful for what is already there. Not constantly looking at what is lacking. If you're afraid of spiders, you see them more than when you're not afraid of them, and if you're afraid of scarcity or lack, then that's what you mainly see. And you already have enough. Really. And by the way, you are it too.