Experts say: these are the most common reasons for relationship conflicts

In an ideal world, we would all naturally have a perfect relationship. No arguments, just love and nice moments together. Unfortunately, we have to burst that bubble; the reality is that every relationship has its difficult moments. Discussions or arguments are simply part of it. Therefore, you don't need to hit the alarm button if you don't always agree with each other. To help you a bit, experts list the four most common reasons for relationship arguments; with tips on how to make things right again.

How your tone and attitude influence your relationship

When you start to argue, it may happen that you raise your voice or roll your eyes in irritation. It might happen unconsciously, but according to psychologist Mark Travers, it can be very decisive for how the discussion continues, and whether it ultimately leads to an argument. For the person on the other side of the conversation, such a change in your voice or attitude can come across as contempt. And that feeling of a lack of respect and appreciation can strike a sensitive chord. According to Travers, it can sometimes even be a reason for couples to break up and has a stronger effect than ignoring someone or openly criticizing them.

So if you tend to raise your voice, roll your eyes eyes, or make a sarcastic remark, consider where this feeling comes from. Perhaps you feel unheard or frustrated. Being aware of why you do things is the first step in preventing and addressing your behavior, thereby protecting your relationship. If it is your partner who has this attitude, try to avoid going along with it. Acting the same way will only worsen the situation; it works better to name the behavior and discuss it.

The impact of family relationships on arguments between couples

Family ties are incredibly valuable, but they can also cause problems. With each having their own upbringing, it can happen that you and your partner have different habits or values, and that can clash. Especially if you have children together and disagree on how you want to raise them. Holding on to your own ideas and defending your own family can make the other feel as if you do not respect or take their views seriously. According to Travers, you can resolve this by starting to reassure each other and letting each other know that both your family and your partner are important to you. Then you can figure out together how to find a middle ground and what to do when family members get involved. It remains a give and take, just like everything else in a good relationship. children How household chores cause arguments within relationships.

In the beginning of a relationship, you may not encounter this, but once it becomes serious and you start living together, the household can also become a source of arguments. You will have to determine who takes out the trash or grabs the vacuum cleaner, for example. If there is a pile of dust or trash bags lying around, it can lead to irritation. Usually, the chores themselves are not the problem; it’s more about the division of tasks. According to research, in many relationships, one partner often takes on the majority of household tasks and also ensures that, for example, the bills are paid. Often, that person is busy with everything except themselves. Not all tasks are equally visible, but they do require a lot of thought and energy. Sometimes it feels as if not everything is equally appreciated, which can lead to frustration. To address this, Travers suggests it is essential to talk about it. Expressing that you recognize what your partner does for you, or when a partner does this for you, can already solve this 'problem'. Perhaps the conclusion is that it is not entirely fairly divided; together you can then look at how to make it feel more equal.

Why differences in communication styles can cause relationship problems.

The reason for an irritation is very decisive in how an argument ultimately unfolds, but that also applies to how the irritation is discussed. You will notice that sometimes it is not even about the unfair division of tasks at home, but about how the other talks about that subject. As soon as someone becomes defensive or tries to brush everything aside, the conversation takes a negative turn. A good way to get out of this, according to Travers, is to use the five-second rule. Agree with your partner on one specific word that you say when you notice that you are falling into that negative circle. When this word is said, it is time for a short break in the discussion. You take some (mental)

distance , to then discuss where your irritation lies at that moment. By each sharing your side of the story and trying to understand each other, you will find that the conversation flows much better afterward and the problem becomes easier to solve., Arguing is simply part of a relationship and is not immediately a problem. It is mainly about ensuring that you continue to communicate well, acknowledge that something is not going well for a moment, and look together at how you can come to a solution.

CNBC.

Source: |Image: Emily in Paris, Netflix And how you can solve it.