Love & Sex

Why micro-cheating might be more dangerous than actually cheating

By Sophie Rietmulder | #!30Thu, 10 Apr 2025 08:00:46 +0200+02:004630#30Thu, 10 Apr 2025 08:00:46 +0200+02:00-8Europe\/Amsterdam3030Europe\/Amsterdam202530 10am30am-30Thu, 10 Apr 2025 08:00:46 +0200+02:008Europe\/Amsterdam3030Europe\/Amsterdam2025302025Thu, 10 Apr 2025 08:00:46 +0200008004amThursday=9#!30Thu, 10 Apr 2025 08:00:46 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam4#04-10-2025#!30Thu, 10 Apr 2025 08:00:46 +0200+02:004630#\/30Thu, 10 Apr 2025 08:00:46 +0200+02:00-8Europe\/Amsterdam3030Europe\/Amsterdam202530#!30Thu, 10 Apr 2025 08:00:46 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam4#

We can all agree that when you go to bed with someone else in your relationship without your partner knowing, it is definitely cheating. Most people will also see kissing someone else as a very unfaithful act, but did you know that there are also subtler forms of cheating? It is called micro-cheating and refers to a form of cheating where there is no physical intimacy with another party.

Micro-cheating is maintaining inappropriate, intimate connections outside your relationship. In this case, you haven't shared a kiss or bed with another person, but there are actions involved that can break agreements within your relationship in other ways. Besides the fact that people in a monogamous relationship agree to be intimate with each other in a physical way, there is of course also the matter of romantic exclusivity. While you might think you’re not really cheating when you seek an intimate connection outside, keeping this a secret and violating your partner's trust can cause a lot of damage.

What falls under micro-cheating in your relationship depends entirely on the agreements you have made with your partner. However, the following matters usually fall under micro-cheating in a standard monogamous relationship according to experts:

Actively seeking an intimate or erotic connection with others
Maintaining a fantasy of emotional connection with others
Looking for repeated intimate interactions with exes or people you find attractive
Consistently seeking the same person at times when you feel unseen or unheard in your relationship
Regularly investing your erotic energy in social media or other digital means, leading to an intimacy drought in your relationship

Quite a tricky pitfall to step into. Do you feel like you might be guilty of this? Determine which interactions or connections are inappropriate by asking yourself: what would my partner think or feel if they saw me doing this? Or: does this deepen my bond with my partner or drive me further away from him or her?

Lastly, it’s important to know that micro-cheating can be a sign that you don’t feel completely fulfilled in your own relationship. Reflect on how important it is for you that your relationship lasts and have a conversation with your partner. Are there things in which you feel shortchanged, what can you mean to each other, and what do you miss in your relationship? You will be surprised at how beneficial such an open conversation can be for your relationship.

Source: MindBodyGreen