My partner only wants to have sex in the most bizarre places
It may seem like a fantasy you only see in movies, but my partner has elevated this to an art form. At first, I thought it was just a phase. It started as a joke. You know, that time when you're driving home and your partner, without any warning, says: “What would you think about doing it next time in the library?” But no, this has really become his way of life. And me? I'm kind of done with it now. At first, I was just too curious to say ‘no’. But now, after so many adventures, I've stretched my comfort zone enough. My partner keeps insisting that you're not an adventurer if you don't have sex in the most unexpected places.
Fitting room at Zara
Just be careful, because you really don't want a saleswoman to ‘accidentally’ walk in.
In a tent
Lovely on a warm, sticky summer night, with the sounds of families from all those other tents in the background.
In the dunes
Yes, the dunes are the perfect place to make love. The view is fantastic. I can't say more about it.
In an airplane
Having sex on a plane might sound like something for the bucket list, but don't be mistaken, the toilets are really small (and dirty, sorry). And yes, even in business class. If you happen to fly business class, then it could work, in a Katja way, with some blankets over you. But believe me, I just flew business (it was a one-time thing), but even there you really have to squeeze.
In your parents' bed
I always thought this was something that only happened in teenage romance Netflix series. But apparently, it's a thing for adults too. There's something magical about the idea that you're literally doing some procreation in the place where you were once conceived. Sounds a bit like incest? Maybe. But hey, we had to start somewhere, right?
In the library
Okay, let's be honest, books can not only stimulate you intellectually, they can also awaken some of your other desires. Spoiler: your partner gives you a stern look, but hey, you're the librarian, right!
In the bushes of the city park
Nature and adventure: they go hand in hand, right? Love that smell of grass.
In an elevator
Yes, that really happened. And yes, it might not have been as romantic as it sounds. But once you press the button for your floor and the rest of the elevator is empty, you have to hurry.
In the garden
It's your garden, your territory, so just find a little privacy. Especially make sure your neighbors don't suddenly peek over the fence out of curiosity, like some kind of leering sex voyeur.
In the pool
Okay, I recommend heading towards the hot tub, otherwise the water quickly becomes less refreshing than you'd think. Cuckoo.
The ball pit
This place is surprisingly enjoyable. Among the colored balls and plastic toys, you'll find an unexpected way to bring out your inner child.
In a restaurant
Quickie in the toilet. Just a little something between courses, should be fine, right?
On the train
If you think a long train journey is boring, just wait until you discover that there's really enough time for a good toilet session. Yes, it might not be the most glamorous setting (understatement), but it's fine if the need is great.
On the ferry (to Vlieland)
Lovely, while those waves crash against the boat, you can literally and figuratively ‘let go’. While sailing.
Wooden house in the playground
Warning: only for at night. A playground with its little wooden gnome house. Between the swings and seesaw. This tip seems like a perfect ending to me.
Credit: COURTESY OF NETFLIX
