The 16 phases of sleeping when it's sweltering hot
Because it felt like autumn in July, this is the only time you’re going to catch me on something resembling a lament about the heat. Or August has to become chafing-thighs-hot, but we’ll see about that. Generally, I love the heat, I would almost say: the hotter the better, although that sounds really flat. Only sleeping when it’s warm? Mwah, not my favorite. And that while I’m really good at sleeping. I’ll go through the phases with you.
1. Foot outside the blanket, foot under the blanket, foot back outside the blanket.
2. An arm around me? Just wrap an arm around yourself. Any body part that isn’t yours feels like a hundred degrees.
3. During foot outside the blanket, exactly ten times poked on left foot.
4. Again didn’t open the window at exactly the right moment after sunset.
5. Wondering how long you can breathe in hot air before you start having complaints.
6. Kicking the duvet off from the foot of the bed.
7. Feeling an uncontrollable urge to lie down on the cold floor downstairs.
8. Pajama shorts that didn’t amount to much, also just taking off myself.
9. Is it weird to take an ice-cold shower at two in the morning?
10. A sip of water then, which within five minutes next to your bed tastes like not completely cooled tea. Damn.
11. Running after that mosquito on your left foot in the nude and considering emigrating to Iceland, because they don’t have mosquitoes there..
12. Carefully pulling an arm away from another sticky body part.
13. Turning around in slow motion, because it’s too hot for the usual speed.
14. Sleeping for three seconds.
15. And then waking up shivering from the cold?
16. Getting up at five and going outside to drink coffee, while you muse about how wonderful it is to ’drink your coffee in silence in the morning. By the way, this is how you sleep well when it’s warm.
