Why self-deprecation is so important in a relationship

Everyone has those moments when you can sink through the ground because you've done something embarrassing, cried over something that wasn't worth crying about, got angry for no good reason, or found yourself in another similar situation. Especially in your relationship, those kinds of things probably happen from time to time, because your partner is the one who sees you the most and thus gets to experience all the ups and downs of your mood.

If you feel ashamed of something, or you have been angry while the other thinks you had no reason to be, there is a chance that your loved one seizes these moments to put you in a funny position, in a loving way. You are confronted with your own behavior in a humorous way, for example by mimicking you theatrically, repeating what you said, or making jokes about how you behave in those moments. You need a bit of self-deprecation for that, because without it, these situations are guaranteed to lead to new arguments.

Laughing together about complicated discussions strengthens your bond again. Moreover, in those moments, you also look at the situation in a different way, which might make you realize that you were a bit unreasonable. This not only helps to lighten the issues but also prompts you to self-reflect. This way, you know how to handle similar situations better next time. Additionally, it's just much more enjoyable to deal with someone who has a bit of self-deprecation; otherwise, you just get stuck in a loop of angry moments and it constantly feels like old grievances are being brought up. But self-deprecation can also work against you: if you constantly make mocking jokes about your body, there's a good chance you have a more negative self-image than those who don't. So use it to laugh together about silly moments, but also be kind to yourself.

Source: psychologiemagazine.nl, Image: Friends