11 x how to spice up the missionary position

Tell me. How often do you lie on top of each other in the missionary position humping? I already know the answer: too often. Where this position was the highlight of romance at the beginning of your relationship, it has now turned into the sexual version of a ham-and-cheese toastie: always good, but never surprising. We really get that, the missionary is a classic for a reason. But after eating the same thing every day, you really should experiment with a new flavor. And no, that doesn't mean you suddenly have to try all kinds of kamasutra positions There are plenty of ways to give the missionary a little more spice, for which you don't need a manual. Take notes, because these eleven tips will definitely help you.

These tips make the missionary position more exciting

1. Start with kissing again

Do you remember that first period in your relationship when you could kiss for whole evenings without anything happening at all? Kissing usually shifts from the main course to a quick appetizer when you dive into bed, but a kiss in between can make a simple position like the missionary more fun. This position is ideal for that, as you lie facing each other. Don't just kiss in the lead-up to sex, but also during. Extensive kissing in between can add a little extra tension and intimacy. During those make-out sessions, you (kind of) catch your breath together. The penetrating play takes a pause, but you're still in each other's arms. And this is the perfect moment to surprise your partner with an unexpected movement (you know, slowly moving your hips to create a little friction) that boosts your partner's excitement meter from six to nine.

2. Try the CAT

And I'm not talking about letting your cat watch as an audience, creep. CAT stands for Coital Alignment Technique, which is a technique to help both partners reach orgasm together. The idea is that the penetrating person shifts up a bit, so their pelvis is higher than yours. Instead of just thrusting in and out, you make more rolling, rocking movements. This way, your partner's pubic bone rubs against your clitoris and gets that intense stimulation. This sensitive player is no longer on the sidelines but gets to play in the game. Slow down the pace and trust us: this will take your missionary game to a new level.

3. Play with your legs

No, missionary doesn't mean you both have to lie flat like planks on top of each other and move back and forth a bit. You can definitely use your legs. Pull your knees up towards your chest and wrap your legs around your partner's waist. Or are you extra flexible? Then you can place your legs over your partner's shoulders. That doesn't sound like an extreme adjustment, but it's just that extra salt that makes the missionary feel better. By positioning your legs differently, you get more friction and a tighter feeling, and you come closer together. And that feels fantastic.

4. Put a pillow under your butt

Okay, I admit: I was a bit skeptical about this tip. What is one pillow going to change about a position like the missionary? Not much, I thought, but I take my words back. This is the easiest upgrade that secretly makes a big difference. By placing a pillow under your butt, you change the angle at which you lie. This means different spots are hit during sex than before. It's actually just like putting your hands under your butt during the leg raiser: it makes it a bit easier and more pleasant. And that guy can reach your G-spot more easily. Isn't that nice? There are special sex pillows designed for this, but you can obviously use one from the couch. With a towel over it, of course. A little warning if you don't want to do laundry after your play session.

5. Don't forget the rest of your body

During missionary, it's very tempting to keep it easy. After a busy day with two jobs, a whole household to run, friends and mothers-in-law to keep happy, you probably don't feel like putting on a whole circus performance. That's understandable, but it doesn't mean you have to lie like a starfish and wait for an orgasm. You can definitely use your hands to caress the rest of your body or that of your partner. Especially during the missionary position, everything is within reach. Grab your partner's butt, pull them closer to you, stroke their chest, play with your own breasts, tickle yourself or your partner. Really: anything goes. A warm breath in their neck, a kiss on their ear: think of it and do it. Every extra stimulus on another body part makes this position just a little different.

6. Keep it shallow

Deeper is not always better. Sometimes it's also very exciting to stay in the ‘shallow’. And no, that's not boring. This even has a name: shallowing. Here, the penetrating partner stays around the entrance of the vagina. By making small movements, gently touching everything, and slowly maneuvering in and out, you create a teasing build-up. Isn't that great? Teasing each other. It will ensure that both of you become more aroused and makes the moment when you do go deeper more intense. Add some eye contact and the tension is so high you could cut it with a Japanese kitchen knife.

7. Invite a toy

No, the vibrator is not a competitor to your partner. It's a teammate that spices up the experience. This can be simple with a blindfold or handcuffs, but also with bigger toys. For example, a vibrating cock ring. Both of you can enjoy this while still just doing the missionary.

8. Play with the tempo

Many couples have, without realizing it, one fixed rhythm. A kind of metronome that has been set to the same beat for years. Turn that around. Go very deliberately incredibly slowly, so slowly that it almost becomes uncomfortable. Or alternate between a few quick, short thrusts and then completely still. That unpredictability makes it exciting because you never know exactly what’s coming. By the way, you can also join in: move your hips along, or against the rhythm. No one said the bottom partner has to lie still.

9. Go soft BDSM

That doesn't have to mean all kinds of whips or nipple clamps right away. If you love the missionary, I don't think you suddenly want to role-play. What probably suits you is soft BDSM. You don't have to be Christian Grey; you can keep it smaller with, for example, a Fifty Shades of Grey blindfold , some, handcuffs feather tickler and a that you can stroke over each other's bodies. 10. Dirty talk.

Talking to each other during sex can feel awkward at first. But haven't you already passed that station? During complicated positions, you probably don't have room to give a speech, but that's the beauty of the missionary: it gives you the chance to talk. Your mouth is literally next to their ear, isn't that ideal? And it doesn't have to be porn moans, but you can make it playful by mentioning what feels good or saying that they shouldn't stop. You can make it as 'crazy' as you want, and it adds that extra spice without having to change positions.

11. Add a mirror.

And finally, a mirror can be the secret to the best missionary. It might feel a bit embarrassing at first to see yourself in the mirror like that. You see every dimple and every wrinkle you'd rather not see, but you have to ignore that. It's about focusing more on what's happening. By doing it in front of a mirror (just look at Colin and Penelope in Bridgerton), you’re essentially playing in your own personal porn film. Without a camera involved. After the awkward five minutes, it will naturally become spicy. Really.

So no, the missionary position is not just boring. It just needs a little extra attention. Try one of these tips and see for yourself what happens. Who knows, you might suddenly look at your good old classic very differently.

Well... Does it sometimes feel like you've completely played out the missionary position in bed? Then you can give this position a little more tension with these tips. Without needing all kinds of circus tricks.