The great how-does-carnival-also-work guide
Tomorrow it starts. Everyone who doesn't celebrate it thinks it's only Saturday, but locals always stick a night for it: carnival. It just feels so long ago that I almost don't remember how to do it. Let's get back to the basics.
1. Stay complaint-free
I used to stand in the pub with a thick throat infection, sorry about that, now I grab the whole pharmacy and a self-test at every possible tickle. It was always a matter of not getting sick until the real carnival, but now complaint-free is a kind of holy status to have and to keep.
2. Beer over wine
Sad but true, the wine served at carnival is mostly a lot of sour vinegar and unappetising aftertaste. I suspect landlords are storing the good stash somewhere far away. Just stick to a beer.
3. Go pee at the very first urge
You run the risk of ending up in a queue of at least 10 minutes for the loo and then you just don't vouch for yourself.
4. Never forget paper tissues
While we're at it: make sure you have your own toilet paper. I know exactly at which pubs the rolls are replenished on time, but you're more likely to miss out. Take two packs of bags with you. One for you and one for the woman in front of you in the queue who forgot. You'll make friends for life.
5. Make sure you are warm
It takes a bit of fumbling when peeing, but wear layers. If you suddenly find yourself celebrating a night of carnival in the streets, you'll be glad to have those thermal trousers under your suit. No one said it was going to be sexy.
6. Keep it to yourself
In the Randstad, you have two types. Firstly, you have the group that does not know and understand carnival, and secondly, you have the people who grew up with it but now turn their nose up at it. Whatever you do, do not tell these types that you are going to carnival.
7. A liquid dinner is not enough
Eat! I thought I could get it off with a liquid dinner last week and - surprise - I can't.
8. 10,000+ steps
Carnival is a celebration for those addicted to the pedometer. I took 13,000 steps in five hours on Saturday night. Steps while stepping, what more could you want? Oh yes, shoes that are comfortable. Get those Timberlands out of the dust.
9. Don't start pinning
I have a better half who prefers to treat the whole pub after three beers. Cosy of course, but a bit less cosy for the bank account. Take out cash and pay with those old-fashioned flaps. That way you can still keep an eye on that budget, instead of swinging your phone past the pin all the time.
10. Let it gooo, let it go
Work, a world above, obligations: everything does not exist for a while. The most important thing is to leave everything for a while and laugh really hard, dance a lot and celebrate life together.
11. Take recovery time
Once upon a time, I took the train at 7am sharp on Wednesday mornings so that I could sink myself into my office chair before the usual office hours started. And then wash out a little from five days of carnival. Never do that again. Take at least Wednesday off to iron yourself back into the fold.
