Why everyone is reading the book Strangers by Belle Burden

If I may give you a book tip, it is undoubtedly Strangers by Belle Burden (the book everyone is currently talking about). Strangers was in the Top 10 of the New York Times bestseller list for nine weeks.

I initially thought I would wait for the Dutch translation, but that won't be available for a while. So I went ahead and bought the original English version. Because if you perhaps follow American media a bit on Instagram, you have probably noticed it too. Oprah Winfrey interviewed Belle Burden, the author of the book, for over an hour for her podcast, Gwyneth Paltrow is going to play her in the Netflix adaptation, and women all over the world are devouring the book.

The book is beautifully written, so I would say: treat yourself to this.

Although Strangers is sold as a divorce memoir (which it is), but the book may be about something much bigger. It raises the question of whether you can truly know someone after twenty years of marriage. Or perhaps even more confronting: whether you have lost a bit of yourself along the way. Belle describes this so well that it is recognizable to everyone.

Okay, what is Strangers by Belle Burden about?

From the outside, Belle Burden seemed to have it all. She studied law at Harvard, comes from one of the most famous families in New York (which is already delightful to read), married the love of her life, and had three children. They had an apartment in New York and a beautiful house on Martha’s Vineyard.

Until one day during corona, an unknown man calls her. His wife turns out to be having an affair with Belle’s husband. Less than a day later, her husband tells her he wants a divorce.

No relationship therapy. No big arguments. No long buildup. He simply no longer wants to be married. All of this in less than 12 hours.

How Belle describes this is so beautiful; she tries to understand what has happened. How can someone who has lain next to you for twenty years suddenly be a stranger? Ice cold within a span of 12 hours. All because of a phone call.

Had he changed? Or had she never really known him? It’s precisely those questions that keep you glued to the book.

Not for nothing was the original title: Was I Married to a Stranger?

Why is everyone reading the book Strangers by Belle Burden?

Oprah said something very beautiful during her interview with Belle Burden. According to her, this book is not just about a divorce, but also about loss. The loss of a future you had envisioned for yourself. The loss of trust. And sometimes also the loss of yourself.

And Belle Burden describes this so intensely well. She takes you completely into her life and writes so vividly that you sometimes forget you are reading a memoir and not a novel.

How many women are there who put their careers on the back burner for their family? Almost all women, right? Not all stop working, but do work less. And how many women leave the finances to their partner? Women who are mainly busy taking care of everyone around them?

Belle writes nowhere with anger. She not only describes what her husband did to her but also critically examines her own choices. Why did she so easily give up her financial independence? Why did she never ask more questions? And why was she so ashamed of something she had no blame for?

That’s why the book feels bigger than a story about infidelity or divorce. Because we often think, it happens to someone else. Not to us. But that’s not true. In fact, this book is a plea to never lose yourself completely in a relationship. Regardless of whether your relationship is going well or not.

The excerpt that left Oprah Winfrey speechless

One of the most discussed excerpts from the book also came up during Oprah’s podcast.

After her husband told her he wanted a divorce, he asks her if she would make him a sandwich. “I’m hungry,” he says.

Oprah could hardly hide her astonishment. “You made him the sandwich?!”

And Belle? Yes, she just made the sandwich. Incredible, right?

Not because she wanted to please him, but because she wanted to show her children who she was. That softness and dignity do not disappear the moment someone else treats you poorly.

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A post shared by Belle Burden (@belleburden)

Why is there also criticism of Belle Burden?

Yes, that’s actually standard. With such a huge success, they dig for untruths, and yes, there came the criticism. American media wrote extensively about Belle’s wealthy family background and questioned how her financial situation is described in the book. This while Belle is so honest in everything.

But that criticism has changed little about the love for her book Strangers. Perhaps because women have not fallen in love with her bank account or her houses. Women recognize themselves in her sadness, her shame, and especially her confusion.

Strangers is about something universal. Having to start over at an age when you thought your life was already complete. A nice family, healthy children. But that sometimes turns out to be an illusion. And about learning that you must always keep a piece of yourself, no matter how happy you are.

Is Strangers by Belle Burden being filmed?

Yes. Netflix has now bought the film rights, and Gwyneth Paltrow plays the role of Belle Burden. Ha ha, because even just for that, a bidding war arose between different studios.

The book has been at the top of the bestseller lists for months and still needs to be translated into multiple languages.

Okay, an important lesson from Strangers: never lose yourself completely in a relationship. Not emotionally and not financially. Make sure everything is well documented and that you can stand on your own financially. Because no matter how unimaginable it feels today, it can happen to anyone. Even you.

Good news for those who prefer to read in Dutch: the Dutch translation of Strangers will be released on November 3. You can already reserve it here.

Also read:

This is how you remain financially independent as a woman
These are the main reasons why couples get divorced
This is what you really deserve for writing a book