Why women don't fall for nice guys
One day it feels like you are a little princess being pampered, the next day he seems to only be able to act annoying. Not doing what you ask, pretending not to understand subtle hints, or just being downright selfish, and when you ask if he would still love you if you were a worm, he bluntly answers ‘no’, even though he knows the only right answer should be ‘yes’. And yet you love him, despite the fact that he can sometimes just be a jerk.
Too sweet men in the friendzone
The stupid thing is that we always put men who are too sweet in the friend zone. I've often wondered why that is, but we all know the answer: if your boyfriend is a bit annoying sometimes, it stays interesting. At the moments when he pampers you, it feels extra cozy. That doesn't mean, of course, that he can treat you badly 90 percent of the time and then say sorry once, that's a toxic relationship, but too much sweetness becomes monotonous; a little conflict makes it exciting. Deep down, you know you actually need to be able to be angry at someone for a bit. As long as those annoying moments of his don't lead to fights, it really can't hurt. And as mentioned: there must be balance, of course. My biggest irritation, for example, is when I complain about a work situation and he doesn't engage with me, but holds up a mirror. I have those kinds of conversations with my girlfriends too, but men do it much more bluntly and directly. Then you think: first say that you understand the irritation before you start throwing out advice.
Grumpy during your cycle
The reverse is actually just the same. Many women who like the monthly cycle know very well that they can be hard to enjoy for a few days each month and that they make it impossible for their partner. However, women usually do this in a meaner way, with a little less humor and a bit more biting remarks. That's just part of it, everyone has their moods. And men are just themselves too. If we are allowed to have our moods, they secretly have the right to that as well, even if it sometimes just doesn't suit us.
This is what's wrong with ‘too sweet’
There is something complicated about “too sweet” men, and it usually doesn't lie in the fact that they are sweet, but in what we sometimes feel lies beneath. Love is attractive, please behavior often is not. A man who is nice because he is genuinely gentle, attentive, and stable can be incredibly attractive. But a man who is constantly trying to be liked, who goes along with everything, never sets a boundary, and somewhat erases himself in the hope of being chosen, often loses tension, at least mine does. Desire needs something to push against. Someone with their own opinion, their own life, a bit of mystery, and the feeling that he can stand firm without your approval. Just someone with whom it occasionally sparks and rubs. Even if it's just to vent my menstrual madness.
