Why you have more stress than your male colleague

Exhausting work is not an exception

Many women work in sectors where the pressure is always high and control is low. Think of healthcare and education. Jobs where you have to be “on” all the time, switch quickly, and also have to maintain an emotional poker face. All those things eat away at you while it has zero influence on how hard you have to keep working. Of course, this applies to both men and women, but in these sectors, 80% is female, and the pressure mainly falls on them.

Earning less = more stress

Financial stress is very real stress, and women deal with it more often. They work part-time more often, partly by choice, but it is also driven by how childcare and care are organized. On top of that, women still earn less per hour in 2026 than men, even in equal positions and with equal experience. Less income means less buffer, and that equals dependence.

Health complaints are taken less seriously

Women experience more physical and psychological complaints on average. But that doesn't mean they are “weaker”, certainly not. It often means that their complaints are recognized less quickly. The medical world has long been based on the male body. For example, there are more studies on male baldness and erectile dysfunction than endometriosis. As a result, symptoms in women are more often missed or misinterpreted. The consequence is that women go longer with complaints. And the longer you walk around with them, the greater the chance that stress accumulates to the point where you really drop out.

The second and third shift starts at home

For many women, work doesn't stop when they leave the office. Then the second part begins: household, children, informal care. And this is also where the mental load peeks around the corner. Because even if your partner takes the kids to practice, you think about what needs to happen, when, and how.

Invisible work

What happens at home is also seen in the workplace. Women are more often given tasks that are necessary but not rewarded. Think of taking minutes, training colleagues, or “quickly” arranging something. These so-called non-promotable tasks take time and energy but yield nothing for your career. On the contrary: they keep you away from work that does count. “Then just say no?” In theory, yes. In practice, that is often more sensitive for women and has quicker negative consequences.

Cross-border behavior is not an incident

More than one in five working women experiences cross-border behavior. This can be a sexist remark, but also intimidation and aggression. Especially in sectors where many women work, such as healthcare and hospitality, this occurs more often. These kinds of unpleasant experiences not only cause stress at the moment but often leave a lasting feeling of insecurity in the workplace.

Prejudices that keep gnawing

And even if you are the epitome of perfection, you are still judged differently than your male colleague. Less competent, less leadership potential, less ‘naturally suited’: that kind of nonsense. This means that women have to work harder for the same recognition. And moms have to prove themselves even more against prejudices about their availability and ambitions.

So it's not that you are worse at relaxing than your male colleague. Or more sensitive. Or just “too much in your head”. It has to do with the fact that structurally more is expected of you, and that the bar is set higher. Then there is some truth in this quote that is going around: ‘A top-tier man is just an average woman’. It's high time that this sinks in for everyone.

Image: Bella Hadid Source: NRC