breaking up, how do you do it?
(and how not to do it)
About 80% of my male friends have the aggravating habit of dumping their flings through inappropriate actions rather than through the use of words. As in; they’ll become MIA or just completely disappear from your life. This is referred to as “Ghosting” and it is a man’s preferred way of dumping a woman. It happens the other way around too, women who steer clear of the breakup scene so they just let the flame die out. Not my cup of tea. Any fling, flame, or man-I-dated-a-few-times deserves a “Hey it was great, but let’s keep it at that.” The biggest argument for dodging the dreaded talk is to avoid hurting someone, but the thing is, ghosting is way more painful than being honest and open about your feelings.
I think you’re a great person but let’s just keep it at one date.
Look, any breakup after a long-term relationship is tedious and painful. No one wants to just throw 2,5 years down the drain so deciding to terminate a relationship comes after careful consideration and numerous discussions. So imagine this, after your breakup you start dating again and it’s fun and all but you just realize he or she just doesn’t really float your boat so you want to end it. Call them, maybe even send them a dead simple text with “I think you’re a great person but let’s just keep it at one date.” Or something along those lines. Honest, clear, easy, coherent.
I recently had a chat with a man notoriously known for breaking many female hearts and he claims ghosting doesn’t happen to avoid hurting someone, but is used so the woman in question will always find you interesting regardless, so you will always have her as a backup option. This is obviously heinous behavior, but boys will be boys will be boys. A friend of mine also wanted to use ghosting as a way of dumping a girl he was seeing but I put a quick end to that and typed a short breakup text for him to send to her.
It’s impossible to place yourself in someone else’s mind set, so thinking that the other person will ‘understand’ just doesn’t cut it
It’s impossible to place yourself in someone else’s mind set, so thinking that the other person will ‘understand’ just doesn’t cut it. Speak your mind, or else it gets messy. Messy and painful. For everyone (especially for the lady who emailed me about this topic which lead me to write this post): you dispose of a fling by letting her know. Imagine what it would be like on the other end of the stick and you were the one that was being strung along, so it’s all but chic to manifest the same behavior. And for those who don’t have the balls to do it, email me and I’ll write that breakup text for you.
