For just under a week I’ve been in Kon Tiki paradise (think luxury huts on the beach with lots of disco parties, as named by my daughters, and an atmosphere that makes me think of Baby’s holiday location in Dirty Dancing) and already I’m recognizing patterns. Vacation patterns. Because when it comes to vacations, I’m terribly predictable.

The annual ulcer

Well, maybe not the prettiest way to begin this piece, but the ulcer sits high on my list of annoyances. Put me on a plane to a sunny spot and pop, there it is, joining the vacation in my mouth. If I’m lucky it brings a friend or two. I make a point of building a close relationship with all pharmacies around the world. And because it is so excruciatingly painful to eat, the only teeny tiny advantage is that I lose a little weight.

the infaltables-obsession

Every day I buy something inflatable. My preference lies with sun beds, floating chairs with drink holders or pools with attachable blow up slippery slides. The latest acquisition is a triple lounge bed with enough space for a drink bucket. These thing obviously never really work. Everything just collapses underneath you or your drinks topple away. Anyway, if you see an inflatable caravan floating along the Côte that would be me and my little ducklings.

The big comparison

I’m not sure if this is recognizable for other women, but I can’t help but to compare myself to every other woman that runs along the beach. It doesn’t matter, from size 34 to 40, no woman is safe from my scrutinizing eye. “Do I look like that?” I ask my man. “Or more like her?” I’d just love to have some sort of body double to see what I look. How others see me. It all ends with me asking hubby darling to take a photo of me in my bikini. Horrible right! For the love of maturity, I’m a 42 year old woman for goodness sake.

the photo album

During the holidays I take lots of pictures and I put the album together in my head. My rule is that I’m only allowed to go on another holiday once the photo album from the previous holiday is finished. Because it’s very clearly my job and my job only, I’m occupied the whole time with trying to take the perfect photos because I’m the only one who knows how the album must turn out like. Oh and the perfect cover image is also very very important. I still don’t have that one yet.

wrong buys

Buying milk instead of yogurt, or thinking that you’ve picked up natural yoghurt when in fact you’ve taken one that is full of sugar. Today I found the dishes had a really nice smell. It appears I’ve bought blocks for the washing machine instead of dishwasher blocks. I have to admit; the result was just fine.

So to put it all in a nutshell, I can only come to the conclusion that I am still very much in need of more holiday time. I might just stay here a while longer.