Things I learned from my mother

8 lessons in style

Of course there are some fashion titles you are raised with for taste and style and then there are the street style types who inspire you, but there are some things in life that can only be taught to you by one person… Precisely, your mother. I am blessed with not only the sweetest but also the most stylish mother you could only imagine and I’m here to share some of her wisest lessons, sometimes a tad unconventional, with you.

Never sit on the floor

Perhaps next to a campfire, but other than that you and the floor should always be separated. A six hour flight delay? That blows. Stay standing. Or become friendly with the staff and work out a way to take a seat in the business class lounge. But a lady, at least we assume that that is your objective, Never Sits On The Floor.

stockings first, then pants

There is no greater anti-aphrodisiac than stockings. Of course you’re free to wear them but it is downright essential that your lover never EVER sees you in just your undies, bra and a pair of stockings. Either get changed in a different room, or yank them out from under your pants before taking your pants off completely.

Never talk about ailments

I’m pretty sure my mother would rather die then talk about menopause. Or any other not so sexy problems. And if you discuss it, do it with your peers. Not with a younger crowd (that will only petrify them for the future), and definitely not with your hubby. Just don’t.

Always state your last name

Fine, we don’t live in France where everyone greets you formally until you’ve more or less been under the covers with them, but being too amicable is not considered classy. Greet someone by extending a hand and giving them your first and last name. Even when you are introduced to a group; shake everyones hand, make eye contact and state your full name.

think about your husband

This probably sounds terribly antifeminist but my mother told all my pregnant friends to never forget about their husbands. Even when all you can think about is pink rompers or baby blue sleeping bags, remember that you’re hubby still needs an occasional bit of horizontal activity. Some women were very stoic in their answer. “I have to please him while I’m the one walking around with a gigantic belly?!” But hey, it shouldn’t be all that bad should it? I mean, isn’t that how you got the belly in the first place?

Never leave home with wet hair

Why not? Because it will look like life is giving you a few punches here and there. You’re probably chasing your own tail because you don’t have everything in order. At least, that’s what it looks like. Now truthfully, my life isn’t always completely in order, but at least I look like I am. And that helps.

Never complain

My father was a sailor so he spent half his time abroad. My mother gave birth twice without him by her side. “I preferred it actually,” she said. “He hadn’t seen me for a couple of months and would have been shocked. Now at least I could lay there waiting for him looking gorgeous with a baby in my arms.”

Killing them kindness works best

My mother will never swear or raise her voice. But she sure knows how to put someone in their place in a very soft tone. A long long time ago when we left the city to go live in the countryside, our family friends were utterly stunned. “Why on Earth would you move to the countryside?!” My mother could have easily told them that we had bought a beautiful affordable home, my brother could spend his days surfing, my horse could live in our backyard, and so on. But instead she laughed and said: “Oh, it’s so wonderfully close to Paris.”