Fun & Famous

17 THINGS THAT GO THROUGH YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU BUMP INTO YOUR EX

The situation has gone through your head at least a dozen times and now, suddenly, it happens. You bump into your ex. Of all days, it happens today while you’re rushing out the door to buy tampons. Status: greasy hair, Mount Everest on your chin and your oldest and ugliest clothing.

What the hell that goes through your head?

1. Oh help. Can someone please point out the nearest exit? Someone? ANYBODY? I’m not kidding.

2. NOW. I mean it.

3. Okay, I’ll hide. No, fuck, too late, he’s too close. Can I still fake taking a phone call? WHERE is my phone?

4. I’m going to pretend like I don’t see him. Oh no, there’s no way I’ll be able to pull that off, I’m turning red. Breathe in, breathe out, say hi and leave.

5. What am I doing? Do I great him with a kiss on the cheek? Give him a hand? Awkward hello? HELP.

6. Of all days why did I pick today to walk around without any makeup on and in my ugliest clothing?! Help me remind myself that I need to change this ritual right away. And I’m NEVER leaving the house just to buy tampons.

7. Pfffff. Thank god he got ugly.

8. Jesus, was I drunk when we dated? I don’t get it.

9. Who am I kidding? He looks better than ever. And he knows it.

10. Wow, who is that he’s with? WHO is the girl? His girlfriend? Why does she have a Chanel bag?

11. Fuck fuck fuck, there’s no way around it anymore. I’ll just quickly say hello and go. “Of course I’m doing fantastic, how about you? I have an appointment I have to rush over to. Have a great day, byeee.”

12. Oh my god, I’m humiliated. WTF was I thinking? Help me remind myself that I’m going to hire a good looking robot boyfriend to walk beside me 24/7 + buys me tampons.

13. That chick was way too good looking.

14. He’s probably really unhappy.

15. She is too. He probably doesn’t last more than a minute in bed. HA!

16. I wonder what my bestie is up to. *grabs phone*

17. “Babe? Wine? No? Yes, I know it’s only 11. No really, code red. Now. Believe me.”