Three years ago, the ELLE Style Awards were broadcast live for the first time, so the party could be followed live from home by everyone. And it was a premiere, so a lot was at stake. At that time, I was on the editorial team of ELLE, and when editor-in-chief Cécile asked me to present the broadcast, I was both honored and immediately frozen with fear. But Cécile is someone I can't and don't want to say ‘no’ to, and so it happened: I stood in the theater with trembling knees and zero point zero camera experience waiting for us to go live. The thing is, I was wearing a beautiful dress from Acne, a typical Scandinavian model. Big, baggy, and with an open waterfall back, all made of very fine, thin silk. Of course, I only found this dress on the day itself, and when I put it on an hour before ‘broadcast’, I only then realized that there was no way a bra could fit underneath because of the open back. Eventually, someone came up with one of those stick-on bras. You know, one of those things that is self-adhesive and supposedly fully supports everything, but in practice, after ten minutes, it hangs down to your knees. Especially when bright camera lights are burning on your head and you are blood-sticking-nervous. There I was, interviewing people deeply while I had to awkwardly clamp my arms against my body to prevent a skin-colored backless bra from suddenly falling out of my dress and onto the floor. Since this experience, it has been my personal mission in life to find a way to wear dresses with no back and/or deep necklines.

There I was, awkwardly interviewing people while I had to CRAMPINGLY clamp my arms against my body to prevent a skin-colored backless bra from suddenly falling out of my DRESS and onto the FLOOR.

The problem, of course, is that the breasts wobble and the nipples get cold, resulting in extremely unflattering situations. Now, I actually have it quite easy, because with my 75B, my boobies don't exactly flap in my face when I walk or run (I hardly run, but that's beside the point). Nevertheless, I don't feel comfortable dancing freely at a party without providing my friends with decent support. By the way, there is no medical necessity to wear a bra, and the story that your breasts will sag from a bra-less life is not true. There are no muscles in your breasts, and we owe it to the ‘Cooper's ligaments‘ that they stay in shape and don't suddenly drift down to your back. Those ligaments are the connective tissue structures that attach the breast to the pectoral muscle (the Musculus Pectoralis to be precise). They are quite stretchy, and that is why the breasts sag without extra support.

I have tried 100 ways to keep those wobbly breasts in check, and recently I came across the Bye Bra, a kind of stickers that create an instant lifting effect. The stickers come with extra nipple covers, so that problem is also covered. To test them, I decided to go dramatic and wear them during a five-hour horseback ride through the woods and heath. I went into a gallop and trot, jumped over a tree stump, and avoided puddles and mud, and damn, the mood (as a friend calls her rather large breasts) didn't budge. Interesting.

To test them, I decided to go dramatic and wear them during a five-hour HORSEBACK RIDE through the woods and heath.

But as a good researcher should, I continued this experiment and looked for multiple test subjects. The stickers are not only suitable for people with a B cup, but usable for cups up to and including F. We don't have those in the office, but luckily we have more than my B cup. Colleague Cher (cup C) is medium enthusiastic. Or rather, the fear that it might not work well prevails, and she doesn't dare to go further than the couch with them. Jet (cup C), on the other hand, is just as excited as I am. “It's really not normal what those things do for you.” But there is also criticism. As Jet puts it: “If I wear them, it will probably be at a party and thus in a nice dress, and suppose I don't end the evening alone, I mustn't forget to strip them off in the loo in my possible drunkenness.” And she is right about that. Because whether standing upright or not, the stickers and nipple covers are really anything but sexy. But it's about making choices in life, and no one said it would be fun. So, all in all, the mission is complete, because I am very happy with my stickers. I was never sexy anyway , so I don't care about it at all. Viva la stickiness!