Oh Amal, what are you doing now?

Not yet not that long ago I praised George Clooney's choice for Amal Alamuddin. Because Amal is beautiful, strong, and extremely successful. A powerhouse as people call it. A woman who didn't need a man to achieve success in life. That George is no longer with us ever-will-I-want-I-must-I-this-man-list I immediately forgave her for being on that list because Amal is an example, and icons are more important in life than a handsome man on a list.

Amal Clooney?

Today my love for this woman wavered. Because what happened, Amal took her husband's name. Why Amal Clooney? Everyone knows you are with this man, you are a strong woman with a beautiful name. Does this indicate that you are indeed a celeb-dweeper?

Verbal bloodbath

It led to a verbal bloodbath here. Jet, our romantic, will as soon as that ring is slipped onto her finger immediately carry the name of her beloved as that ring slides down. Liesbeth, you already had a suspicion, finds it unthinkable to carry someone else's name. Even if ‘someone else’ is your own husband. “You're together, you feel that, you don't need that name for that? Moreover, you have been that person your whole life. With that first and last name.”

Call me old-fashioned

I navigate somewhere, cowardly, in the middle. For me, it was clear that my children would carry the name of my beloved—and not entirely coincidentally also their father. Call it old-fashioned, call it tradition. I found it loving to give them his name.

Giving up your name

I am not married, more on that another time, so the name issue is not at hand but wow, giving up my name, I find that quite something. My parents came up with a beautiful name, which also alliterates nicely. People know me like that.

One in three fails

Moreover, I know that this is not the intention when you take a name, but one in three marriages fails and I always find it a bit sad that Inge de Wit suddenly becomes Inge Ledeboer again. That the whole world can see your sadness in a single name change.

Katja Römer

The point is, you can never do it right, of course. When Katja Schuurman married Thijs Römer, they decided in all their love and emancipation to carry each other's names. She Römer-Schuurman, he Schuurman-Römer. Perfect solution, you would say, but I still found it a bit of a hassle. And in practice, it turned out that she was called Katja Römer-Schuurman and he Thijs Römer. They might have wanted to innovate, but the environment didn't move along well.

Then it is allowed

Then there are those cases; if it helps you move forward, why not. Diane von Furstenberg decided after her divorce from Prince Egon von Furstenberg to keep the last name. That would yield her more than a hefty alimony. When I once asked a dear colleague the question, she replied that with her rather common name, let’s say Jansen, she was indeed very inclined to take on the quadruple last name of her noble fiancé.

And then carrying a name is again the pinnacle of feminism, right? But wow Amal, you don't need Clooney at all. I expected more from you.