The difference between Instagram and real life

 Two weeks ago I received an email from an old friend and it started with the following sentence: “Hey Lies! Long time no see! How are you? Although I actually don't need to ask you that because it looks like you really have a wonderful life.” When I read that, I was broken in bed after a night with a little three hours of sleep because I was lying awake all night worrying about Difficult Things, so I didn't find my life that wonderful at that moment. We agreed to have coffee and I asked again about that sentence, to which she said that she follows me on Instagram and therefore only sees nice things passing by. Yes, but wait a minute, that's my Instagram life, that's certainly not real life?

Later I scrolled again through my account and indeed, when you see all that passing by, it is a damn pleasant existence. And I also spend a lot of time on it, I can spend hours making a good photo and sometimes I have enormous “Insta-urge” and then I just post a photo from a month ago. My Instagram addiction is totally getting out of hand and if a photo doesn't do well (doesn't meet my like-norm) then I just take it down a few days later. So yes, if you never talk to me, you might think based on my Instagram that I'm breezing through life.

But that's not true. Not at all. A few months ago there was a rather unpleasant event that I am still struggling with, but you don't put that on social media. By the way, I Instagrammed a photo then of the Bijenkorf with the text “having a pretty shitty day today (can be said sometimes) so thank god for retail therapy.” Within half an hour I had three fewer followers and never before did a photo get so few likes as that one. People don't want misery and suffering, that was clear. So within three days I took that photo down again and my account was back to a collection of highlights.

I do that too, by the way, when I meet people “in real life” I am often surprised when I hear what is going on in their life “because I see all happy things passing by.” Or with relationships, the couples who post the loudest love messages and mushy texts, is that relationship really that sunny and rosy? Every little house has its cross but you don't see those crosses. That can be very confusing. Confusing and misleading because as happy as they are, we are not. Is everything okay between us then? It's too ridiculous for words but all the happiness and love of others can make you doubt the state of your own life.

My life is really quite wonderful, but god believe me when I say that there are also plenty of things that are completely shitty. Maybe Instagram is also a kind of escape, a place where everything is fine. Where the cappuccinos are always in the shape of a heart, macarons are perfectly colored, where the sun always shines and a palm tree is always nearby. And that, that is sometimes also quite wonderful, even if it is sometimes not so fair.