Things that make you realize you are getting older (and more boring)

Ok, I'm not really old yet, but I do notice that I am indeed getting older. Where I used to go out every Friday and Saturday during my high school years, I now gladly skip a week. About 10 years ago, it wasn't a question of “are you doing anything tonight?” That was evident; the question was more about what time we would see each other. Now I sometimes go out, sometimes spontaneously, sometimes planned, but often, quite often, I also really enjoy staying at home, alone (and with Poes Disco) or with friends. Someone recently said to me, “Jesus Lies, are you already becoming old and boring?” And you know, yes, maybe I am. And that becoming old and boring is not just because of myself; my environment contributes to it as well. But there are more signs of this phenomenon, here they come.

You prefer to stay home rather than go out.

No, no worries, I still go out often enough to a wild party. And I come home much less than is good for me, but still, there are plenty of weekends where I really enjoy not having parties and no drinks. Just lounging under a blanket on the couch with a purring cat on my lap – you can't make me happier than that.

Your friends can't meet up because they can't find a babysitter.

My friends aren't having many babies yet, but the births are starting to pick up. This doesn't necessarily mean that I'm boring, but it does mean that they are boring and old, which means that I am also older and because of their cancellations, I often find myself on the couch and thus also boring. You get it?

You suddenly can't handle busy party bars anymore.

There was a time when I was singing, dancing, and laughing in Amsterdam party bars like Het Feest Van Joop, de Bubbels, Kleine Cooldown, and The Piano Bar, but nowadays I just can't handle it anymore. So busy, so full, everyone bumps into you and walks through you, and ordering takes about 5 days. Pff, I already get tired just thinking about it.

You increasingly consider calling the police about that noisy café under your house.

Under my house is a café that had the brilliant idea to host their most popular party on Wednesday nights. UNTIL 2 AM. So now I am that bloody annoying neighbor who complains about noise, but you know, I have a job and I damn well have to get up the next morning.

When friends cancel your plans, you're secretly quite happy about it.

This contradicts two points above, but sometimes it's wonderful when your friends cancel because then you can legitimately stay home and thankfully don't have to go out.

Stores like Forever 21, Primark, and Zara on Saturday afternoons are now way too busy for you.

For some time now, there has been a Forever 21 in Amsterdam, and there was a time when that would make me incredibly happy, but not anymore. That store is so unbelievably busy that I always walk around it. You have to stand in line for everything, and the tourists and day-trippers rush right through you – no thanks.

You don't know what things like FML and NSFW mean.

There is an editor here at the office (I won't name names) who until half an hour ago didn't know what FML meant. Or NSFW; Facebook is flooded with messages linking to things that are “NSFW,” and the older you are, the less you understand what that is. Luckily, I survive this round, but for anyone who has no idea what those letters stand for: Fuck My Life and Not Safe For Work.

You increasingly say, “I'm getting too old for this.”

I seriously say this quite often. Usually when I'm in a busy store or party bar. Or when a man is making painfully bad attempts to flirt, or when I suddenly find myself in the middle of a friends“ argument (”she said this and then she said that!'), I can't handle it anymore; I'm really getting too old for this.