This is how you brush him off

When you saw him last night, you thought: this is my man. Okay okay, it was 03:00, fairly dark in the club you were in and the vodka-colas seemed to be falling from the sky, they were so plentiful. You exchanged numbers with that man and the next morning you wake up with an extreme hangover and a phone full of messages. From him indeed. How are you, what are you doing, you're hungover, what are you going to do, hello hello hello haaaalloooooooo??!?!?!?! Well, you need to get rid of this situation as soon as possible.

But that's easier said than done. Some men still struggle with the idea of “she's just not that into you” and hold on until the bitter end. The situation I described above happened to me once. I sent a pretty cold and curt “yeah fine, here very hungover, bye” back and thought that would be the end of it. But it wasn't. He just kept texting and days later still did. You can do two things then. Either you just never respond again (I'll get back to that) or you send a clear message stating: “Yo, it was really fun that night but let's leave it at that.”

Choosing strategy 1 hasn't always been my preference. In English, they call it “to ghost out on someone” and that can be really frustrating. It's not that much effort to let someone know how things are. Especially if it wasn't just that one Friday night, but if you have been on a few dates. Even then, at some point, you can decide that it doesn't have to continue, but it just might be that the poor guy thinks very differently about it.

If you have had a number of dates I have to be strict: it's forbidden to just disappear off the face of the earth. How much do you and your friends hate men who do that? Who just suddenly *poof* NEVER say anything again? That's why. So you can't do that either. Call him, send a text or whatever and kindly but clearly explain to him that you really had a great time with him, but that there doesn't necessarily need to be a next time for you. Literally that sentence I have used before and it worked very well. He will probably mumble something about “what a shame” and “why then” but you can quickly counter that with something along the lines of “it's a feeling, and I don't want to lead you on, now we can stop without having a bad feeling about it.” There you go, fine, nothing more to do.

So, all in all, find the guts and just let us hear from you for a moment. We expect that from the other party too, so just set a good example. And if he still hasn't received the message, then it is indeed time to never let him hear from you again. That will teach her.