Here they are, the differences between men and women.
Well, you may have noticed it (very possibly) at some point; I love everything that has to do with men versus women. Last week, a good friend and I found ourselves in a discussion about the differences between men and women and how they manifest. We came up with the following list, and I think I speak for everyone when I say that the examples below are just really, truly like that.
About the 5-minute rule
I may have already let slip that I always arrive 5 minutes late everywhere, a very annoying trait I know I know. That’s due to the 5-minute rule. No matter how long something takes, I will always say it takes 5 minutes. If I’m standing naked in front of the mirror stressing about my outfit and a man asks if I’m almost ready (I really hate that question by the way), the standard answer is: “Yes, give me another 5 minutes.” Men also have a 5-minute rule. If they are sitting in a bar and you are waiting for them for whatever reason, they will always say they’ll be home in 5 minutes. Only to arrive 3.5 hours later, of course.
About looking in the mirror
A woman looking in the mirror almost always sees rolls and dimples and spots and other things that just aren’t there. A man looking in the mirror almost always sees muscle groups that just aren’t there.
About shopping
If a man needs a new pair of Levi’s jeans he goes to the Levi’s store and buys a new pair of jeans there. If a woman needs a new pair of jeans, she first visits all the stores to see what jeans are available, only to start back at the first one again. In the meantime, we’ve spotted three pairs of shoes, bought a dress that was truly essential, and probably also a bag. And the jeans? Which jeans? But hey, by the way, look at my new shoes!
About going to the hairdresser
When I go to the hairdresser, I usually have to wait a month or two before I can make an appointment. Once in the chair, the request I usually give is something along the lines of: “Yes, I’d like my hair to look better, but not too much off. Preferably as little as possible. Just the tips, really. Or well, the tips of the tips. Could you cut it without actually cutting it?” At the end of the ride, I get to pay about 80 bucks and indeed, almost nothing has happened, although I tell everyone that I’ve been to the hairdresser and omg it’s SO SHORT. A man goes to the hairdresser around the corner without an appointment, gets a totally new haircut for twenty bucks, and never mentions it again.
About between the sheets
If you want to get a man talking, it usually doesn’t take much. And to bring the party to an ejaculatory climax usually works out fine as well. But getting a woman to climax – that’s a different story (exceptions aside). Generally, women climax less often during sex and men have no idea where on the female body the clitoris is located. Forehead? Lower back? Upper arm? No idea.
About cleaning up
Generally, women are quite tidy when it comes to their homes (again, exceptions aside), but create a hysterically large chaos in their cars. With men, it’s the opposite; they let mushrooms grow out of the walls at home but keep their car as sterile as an operating room.
