WHAT YOU CAN LEARN AS A WOMAN
from shopping with a man
Last weekend, I had the special pleasure of going shopping with a male person. A heterosexual specimen, to be clear. Generally, shopping is an activity I prefer to do alone, and I would never ever go shopping for myself with a (hetero)man. You shouldn't put those poor guys through that, first of all, and secondly, I find it extremely annoying when there's an impatient type sighing and groaning while I want to try on that other size for the thirtieth time.
But the other way around, I have no problems with it, and in fact; it turned out to be an educational process from which we doubtful women can learn a lot. Take the following tips to heart, and you will never again stand crying with doubt in a fitting room, never again accidentally come back with a thousand summer dresses while winter is definitely happening, and never again buy things because you don't dare to hang them back due to that aforementioned doubt.
Lesson 1
Think about what you want and buy that. The man in question wanted a pair of pants, a shirt, a sweater, and a jacket, and he bought exactly that.
Lesson 2
If something fits well, feel free to buy it in four different colors. Found the perfect pair of jeans, and is it available in other washes? Go ahead, check out. Without batting an eye, nearly 800 euros were spent on the same pair of jeans in different colors, “because it fits well, right?” And there’s actually a lot to be said for that.
Lesson 3
Or buy it in the same color. The shopping man found a perfect white shirt and immediately bought about three of them. “Then I have them.”
Lesson 4
When in doubt, always do it. I can stand hesitating endlessly because that shirt might just be a size too small and the other size is no longer available; a man just checks out. “It'll be fine. And I can always return it if needed.”
Lesson 5
Think about what your look is and stick to it. I call that the Mark Zuckerberg effect. Mark always wears the same thing. Just like Barack Obama and the late Steve Jobs. There’s already enough to worry about, so why also hesitate in front of your closet? I can look very basic on a Monday in boyfriend jeans and a sweater, on Tuesday I suddenly have hysterical heels and a short dress on, only to appear on Wednesday in a big skirt with high boots and a complicated construction of sweaters and jackets on top. Just go for one look and wear that all the time, then you also know exactly what to look for in the store and what simply isn’t “you.”.
Lesson 6
Don't let the store staff influence you. I have sometimes bought things because I stood in front of the mirror with them for half an hour and had them fetched in three different sizes, and after so much effort, I can't bring myself to say that I won't buy it after all (I previously wrote this piece about it). “What nonsense, you’re paying, right?” is a male reply, and he is right. So don’t let such guilt feelings affect you, and conversely, don’t let anyone talk you into something. Because you learned the previous lesson, you know what suits you and what doesn’t, so when a overly trendy store guy comes rushing in with a jacket that looks more like a duvet than a jacket, you just say: “No sorry, that’s not for me.” Easy peasy, no more bad purchases. Hooray!
