Amayzine

Fun & Famous

10 CRAZY LAWS IN AMERICA

America, what are you doing to me? I used to want nothing more than to live there. After I graduated from my American high school (in Paris, but very American nonetheless), all my friends went to study there and I had to reluctantly return to the Netherlands. But if that crazy Trump actually manages to move to The White House, I just think: give me Amsterdam.

I still love the country though, and we have to give them some credit, because they have humor. Hello then: Trump president? Stop it with me. But American humor can also be found in the form of the most absurd laws. Want to laugh? I’ve made a selection of the craziest rules in the USA. A selection yes, because there are ridiculously many. Here they come:

“Give me Amsterdam.”

  1. If you’re in Alabama, make sure to leave your fake mustache at home when you go to church. Wearing one is strictly prohibited.
  2. And also clean up your domino game on Sundays if you don’t want to end up in jail. Then it’s better to play Yahtzee together.
  3. Ladies, if you happen to be heading to Florida and you’re not married, absolutely do not go skydiving on a Sunday. You’ll end up behind bars as well. I think: I’ll just warn you in advance.
  4. In Natoma, Kansas, it is illegal to throw a knife at someone wearing a striped shirt. Handy to know.
  5. The divorce rate in America is quite high (almost half of marriages end in divorce). And sure, sometimes you regret your divorce, so you decide to go for it a second time. Or a third. But oh dear if you go for marriage number four with the same partner in Kentucky. Abort wedding, abort wedding. This is punishable!
  6. Feeling like giving your boyfriend or girlfriend a nice full-on kiss in public in Halethorpe (Maryland)? You can. But really not longer than one second. Honestly? Secretly this is quite exciting, getting a fine for kissing just a bit too long on the street. At least you have a fun story when you get home.
  7. Another fun one from Pocatello in Idaho: it is illegal for pedestrians to frown, look threatening, or appear gloomy because that could harm the city’s reputation. So if you’re dealing with a rustige bitchface? Don’t come here.
  8. It is extremely illegal to mispronounce Arkansas. So repeat after me if you don’t want a criminal record: Arrr-kan-SAW.
  9. In that same Arrr-kan-saw, a man may hit a woman. But not more than once a month.
  10. Happen to be on vacation in Zion, Illinois? Then please do not offer a burning cigar to a dog, a cat, or other pets. Just so you know.

Oh America, land of the free. So wonderfully crazy. But please not so crazy that Obama is swapped for Trump. Thank you.