7 THINGS

THAT EVERY DIETER RECOGNIZES

(I'M REALLY STARTING TOMORROW)

As you may know, I will be on a strict regime for the coming weeks (if not, read our suggestions here)? I'm meanwhile scrolling through the first of the Monate like an addict through Elkes Nieuwsflix, but nothing, zip, nada. Even Netflix is acting suspicious... Quiet then. I want a sequel to my favorite and I want it now. But with a chronic shortage and the absence of rattling conversations, just a moment). Now, I always take a LOT of luggage on summer vacation, but those flabby arms and love handles are definitely excluded from the party this year. They can melt away in misery at the gym or perish in a dusty corner of the attic.

Since I won't be the only one starting this year with ‘healthy’ resolutions, I present to you: the 7 things that only the poor souls who are dieting recognize:

1. “Yeah no, I'm really starting tomorrow. I've already messed it up for today.” You say this for DAYS in a row and after a month you conclude that nothing has happened yet. And then you hate yourself and suddenly go all in.

2. Miraculously, you see your Instagram feed Only. But. Food. Passing by. And damn, it looks delicious too. My tip? Unfollow that stuff. You'll be miserable because of it. Do you miss the food photos too much? Follow food bloggers with healthy recipes. You'll get some inspiration from that too.

3. Maybe you've made your Insta ‘food clean’ by now, but suddenly McDonald's has decided to advertise a new variation of the McChicken on every freaking bus stop. Also three times annoying: all those food commercials on TV. The happy solution to all your problems? Netflix. No commercials, hallelujah.

4. A sloshing belly. Because you've decided that from now on you're finally going to drink those two liters of water a day. Also a hilarious scene: a sloshing belly during sex.

5. Going home as fast as you can after a night out for fear of storming the local fries shop with a lot of violence. It wasn't on the agenda, but I did that recently, check here maar even.

6. Being proud of a good weight loss day and then wanting to reward yourself with a huge piece of chocolate. Something about a vicious circle...

7. Your urge to suddenly work through all the -almost impossible- positions from the Kamasutra calendar with your partner, hoping to burn more calories that way. Now that's a win-win!

Written by Kiki Düren