Fun & Famous
CAN EVERYONE PLEASE STOP HERE?
The photo pose that really can't be done
I still remember very well that I had my first official photoshoot. Something with a magazine, something with a foreword. There was styling, there was make-up, and there was a photographer. By the way, I know that photographers find it a horror to photograph ‘ordinary’ women. Not because we aren't thin and pretty enough, but mainly because we all think that our inner Doutzen/Bregje Heijnen/Daphne Groeneveld will come out. And that remains very deeply hidden. The bitch.
also the eleven reasons why you absolutely want to stay here according to May. here by the way, just for a moment (if you really want to laugh) about our posing blunders.
Anyway. I posed a bit wobbly (because of course it was all super scary) and tried to listen to the photographer's instructions. “Turn your left shoulder just a bit more towards me. But keep your hip straight. And can there be a little less space between your feet? Maybe you should turn your left knee in a bit more.” Really, a power yoga class is child's play compared to this.
“The laugh-without-laughing photo.”
“Just open your mouth wide as if you really have to laugh hard. Scream a little too.” And there it was. The laugh-without-laughing photo. Really, once you recognize it, it's suddenly everywhere. You see a woman in a photo (usually not a model) who lets her mouth fall open so wide that you could easily push a block of butter in there. Often she also leans a bit forward or even has her hands on her thighs. All to make you think that she is really having a great time. But her eyes, they don't laugh along. You can see them thinking: mouth open, leg slightly to the left, arms on the thighs, shoulder slightly forward.
A real model only smiles with her mouth closed in a photo. Because laughing = wrinkles and that's almost as bad for a model as an upper arm that your hand can't wrap around anymore.
Moral of the story: are you ever going to be photographed by a real photographer or do you think it's super fun and a really good idea to throw such a pose on Instagram? Don't do it. Don't let yourself be laughed at.
There will come a moment when you will be incredibly grateful to me.
