Happy & Healthy

KIKI'S DIET DIARY: “YOU'LL SWEAT, YOU BRAT!”

Hallelujah. After three weeks of whining, complaining, not losing weight, and all that fuss, I actually did it. I lived this week like a diehard NewFysic fit girl and lost 1.3 kilos of flabby butt. Hooray, she did it.

That target weight is starting to come pretty close. But what now? I already talked about it last week and it turns out to seriously work: I felt like I ate a ridiculous amount. Seriously, every two hours I was nibbling on something again. Of course, it was something healthy. But still, I wasn't hungry and eating a lot WORKS, PEOPLE.

I called last week whining and demotivated to a friend. “And now it's over, Kiek, we're going to sweat together,” I heard. Sounded pretty exciting. She knew a nice gym in Utrecht (the trendy HRNSTR33), where her ‘favorite gay’ would put us through our paces for an hour. So off from work, put on my monkey suit and headed to the gym. I mean, a group class couldn't be that bad, right?

“Like a panicked deer, I start bouncing to the beat”

Fifteen minutes later. An über-motivated fit guy in short shorts starts yelling at me in a really cheerful way. “COME ON LADIES. WHO WANTS TIGHT BUTTS?” Like a panicked deer, I start bouncing to the beat. OMG, those steps. After ten seconds, I go into some kind of convulsion and struggle to come out of it after about five minutes. As a diehard smoker without fitness laughing during a group class while thinking you're going to die is really not such a good idea, I can tell you.

I'm also one of those poor souls who doesn't have sportswear, so in an Adidas tracksuit (read: three hundred degrees) and a Vogue T-shirt, I already stand out quite a bit. “Come on, Vogue, you're doing great! AND NOW WE'RE INCREASING THE PACE!” The steps suddenly double in speed. I see in the mirror a sad chick waving her arms uncontrollably – totally out of sync with the group. Oh, that's me. Hello, Jumbo. Absolutely terrible. Then Mr. Tight Sexy Shorts decides we're going to ‘frog’ (running in circles and making a frog jump to the ground every two seconds) and at that point, I really think I'm dying. “You'll sweat, you brat,” my friend manages to squeeze out with a red face. I burst out laughing. Goodness, this is hysterical. I say: next week again. Although I don't know if I dare to do it again.