Fun & Famous
Kiki's Expedition Robinson ramblings
Week 14
Joejoe, cuckoo! The lost child is home again. A very good afternoon, dear Ex Robbies. Afternoon yes, because god, I couldn't dive behind the computer any earlier. When our favorite show was back on the air last night at half past 8, I was on the plane from Willemstad to Amsterdam. And I just landed, so hey, it couldn't be any earlier. There are almost no threatening letters coming my way, but the fact is apparently that you all can't wait. Jetlag or not, in the last convulsions of my holiday weekend, I couldn't wait to write again.
I watched it back and f*ck, what an episode again. And it suddenly feels incredibly hypocritical that I'm joking about people who have been in the bush bush for THIRTY days with hardly any food, while I just came from a tropical island, but with food in spades. I didn't have to take that plane, you know, it was just arms and legs on board and rolling with that stuff towards Holanda. Call me Kiki oempa loempa Düren. Anyway, enough talk about food, let's talk about the episode. In 13 points no less. Let’s go!
1. I seriously catch myself often shouting at the TV when someone does something stupid. Last week: ”ANNA NO, NOT THAT IMMUNITY VOTE!#$@” This week: ”YES JESSIE. CRYING HUH. OWN FAULT. PUH.”
2. By the way, I found it a brilliant reaction when Jessie openly apologized and draped herself half drooling over Anna's lap. ”My shirt really stinks. It's really very gross.” I'm going to remember that, An, by the way, it's a perfect way to get someone out of your aura that you don't want to deal with. Brilliant.
3. And then over to loser island. I can't handle this, you know. More shouting at the TV. Even a lump in my throat. And it's not because of that freaking jetlag, but my friend Vajayjay is out. MY TWITTER BUDDY. Goddamn. While mister Rambo was doing super well, but got distracted for just one second by Thomas’ clumsiness. Crying with the cap on.
4. The challenge between Thomas and him was anyway a bit mind-pingpong. Hmm, they both stand quite stable. Jay a bit more than Thomas. Jay throws the first ball. Just on the edge of the vase. Oops, Thomas also throws next to it. Jay next to it again. Thomas next to it. Jay throws just just next to it. Thomas next to it. Jay next to it. Thomas next to it. Jay next to it. Thomas next to it. HOW MANY BALLS DO YOU NEED?? Mi gado.
5. Oh and Jay, if we can be open and honest (oh we already were huh), that combative T-shirt/towel thing on your head during the challenges. No. Not even a little bit. Just a bit silly. Furthermore, I really want to cuddle with you and I take back all the bad vajayjay jokes, because I find it crying that you're leaving.
6. Suzanne is trying to improve the mood at base camp a bit: ”What a beautiful day, guys. Unbelievable. It was a nice dismantling last night, I must say.” Suus has (just like the late Koos) the magical gift to use these kinds of sentences at the most tactless moments.
7. By the way, I found a nice comment from you Suus (no, we're not just here to complain, stop it): ”I'm just an old louse and I'm not going to be broken. Or a coconut. Indestructible. That's me. That’s me.” If you could also stop with all those exaggerated English words at the end of your sentences with that scary Batman voice, I'd be completely happy.
8. Thomas, and the award for the biggest jerk of the year goes to… Seriously, can you please be VERY QUICKLY normal with Bertie. First promising shit and then backtracking. No no, our Zeeland bolus friend is not pleased with that. Oh, I've always just thought you were a wanking swamp licker. He should be sent back to the Netherlands on a bike. Without a saddle.
9. By the way, not good for my heart rate: Dave my boy, who definitely doesn't seem to be returning as a pop-up expedition member. Makers, can't you think of something for Dave? Even if he's just the person who brings a crate of food to winner island? Doesn't that damn bird need more training or something? Anything?
10. Shit, in this episode you could really see Bertie's Mansion/camp from the inside. Chandelier from the Xenos: everything.
11. My goodness, I mean Suus, mega chill for you that you keep crawling through the eye of the needle, because all those friends start screwing each other on that island, but yo, what a whiner you can be. ”Boohoo, everyone thinks Anna is pathetic and I've only been on winner island once and I'm twice as old as you.” Yes. If you could just be a little more sympathetic, huh? A little. Then someone might actually let you go to winner island.
12. Anna who is sucking up to Dio to stay in (I would do exactly the same, mind you) = talking fourteen octaves higher. Or am I the only one who almost gets a high squeak in his ears?
13. Next week: An takes on Suus for a spot as the second finalist. And then Bertie the TERMINATOR suddenly runs through the Burger’s Zoo with a machete. Oh dear, this is going to be a feast again. And then just early in the morning again babbling. ’Pinky promise‘ (ugh).
