Happy & Healthy

MARRYING, YES OR NO?

by Adeline Mans

If you are a spouse, then this is the time when divorces go through the roof (and March, be warned). Apparently, not everyone benefits from a solid dose of vacation love in an Italian hotel, and marriage often ends up on the beach. But let's talk about that marriage for a moment.

The wedding role distribution in my girlfriends' club has been a clear matter for about twelve years. Friend J. is the first to marry, as she is of the beautiful, marriageable kind. Friend D. suddenly stands to marry, because she does crazy things. And friend B. says ‘yes’ as soon as the great love and feelings are in order. An update, that rings true like a sore finger (hey, the bus contamination sounds less dirty). They are all three on the hunt for a man or woman. And so am I, but the marriage certificate has not yet been printed. If our bestfriendsforevertrouw role distribution has predictive powers, then I will only step into a boat at my senior party or simply forget to get married.

And this time we are not talking about that double-surname debacle.

I still had a few girlfriends left on the unmarried hand, but the most cautious one (who used to be the biggest romantic) just blurted out an ‘I do’. If he falls on one knee with a ring at the height of the tower in Japan, then ‘yes’ is the only answer (I really understand that). She shed a Máxima tear, threw all her scruples overboard, and now wants the whole shazam. And I also wanted the Monique Lhuillier, a castle garden, and flowers in my hair, but on the way, the Zeeman dress and a party in a garden by candlelight with a food truck become more attractive (the flowers in the hair can stay). It is also no longer such a rush job as before, because back then that ring had to be on the finger by a certain age. My different view on the 'I do' may come from the fact that my surroundings are hanging on to separated loves (but really). And I spend a lot of money on love, I mean, a world trip with him. But why would you even want to get married anymore? And this time we are not talking about that double-surname debacle.

One in three marriages ends in divorce. I don't want to be pessimistic (but I will be for a moment, excuse me), but just look around at your married colleagues. How many do you count? And then one in three. That makes me a bit teary, because I wish everyone a Bouquetreeks marriage with flower petals and wild nights. And yet 84 percent of the no-nonsense Dutch believe that true love exists, according to research by Psychologie Magazine. By the way, there can be more than one, they also reveal that in the research. One in three gets divorced, eighty-four percent believes in true love, but how then? Well, people who believe in true love also tend to end a relationship faster if they accidentally hook the wrong true one. This is my farmer's reasoning, but I do see a line here.

You recognize me by the Zeeman dress and the open ticket for a world trip

I asked around because I, yes I too, want to know what the magic of being married is. In an exceptional case, He and the church peeked around the corner, but it mainly came down to this: it’s about sealing love and promising each other to do your utmost to make each other happy. Celebrating love is also a favorite, and your other loved ones must be there. Look, and then I secretly want that too. And I take that one in three for granted. Not now, but in five, ten, or fifty years. In the garden by candlelight of my senior apartment and eating from a food truck. The bachelorette party is in the common room of the apartment with bingo and a large glass of Vieux. You recognize me by the Zeeman dress and the open ticket for a world trip, because, I can't help it, that version keeps winking at me.