Happy & Healthy
ODE TO MY STATEMENT GLASSES
Let's talk about my glasses for a moment. A thick, flashy Cazal with golden details. I'm extremely happy with it, but man, that thing was incredibly expensive. Think: eight hundred euros and three weeks of toasties. But I already said it: I loves it. And that's an understatement. These glasses (yes, I'm going to keep going) are truly the cutest, sweetest, and most complimenting glasses in the world. They are my savior in times of need. My support and confidant. My hope in anxious days. Therefore, I can really recommend them to everyone. Of course, you do need to have a vision impairment, because a pair of glasses without real lenses is the ugliest and most pretentious thing ever.
I will now elaborate on the above declaration of love. Because you are all obviously waiting for that.
1. With a statement glasses, you can instantly spice up any outfit – no matter how mundane and painfully boring – in a flash. And that's not only very handy in terms of time management, it's also great for your wallet. Because without a flashy statement glasses, you would spend hundreds of euros (or more) on new outfits. Now you do that just as well, but it's about the principle.
2. Is there a serious lack of sleep? The statement glasses can perfectly demand attention and ensure that no one – okay, almost no one – looks at your bags under your eyes, your pale face, or worse, your cold sore. And that's wonderful news (read here about my first workday at Amayzine, with a popping cold sore).
3. Another nice thing about such thick glasses: you won't lose them quickly. I mean, a flimsy frame from the local glasses shop is much easier to overlook. Especially when you don't have your glasses on because you're busy looking for them.
4. With a statement glasses, you look luxurious. And that's important. Because when you look luxurious, you are also approached luxuriously. And who doesn't want that? I recently went shopping with the glasses and received all kinds of super cool compliments, and they took all the time for me, and I got champagne and chocolate, and sometimes that's just everything you need in life.
5. With a statement glasses, you look creative. And as a result, every outfit looks very thoughtful and FASHIONABLE. And sometimes, together with champagne and chocolate, that's just everything you need in life.
6. All photos turn out perfect, even if you have a psychopathic smile. All the attention is already on the glasses. Stronger: a statement glasses is your smile. Yikes, did I really write that? But I mean it.
“That often goes wrong, where the glasses get seriously pinched or worse: launched”
7. The glasses are hard to break. And I know this because I have a hysterical toddler who often puts them on. That often goes wrong, where the glasses get seriously pinched or worse: launched. However, it has never gone wrong (knock on wood). Anyway: such a statement glasses can take a hit or two.
In short, a statement glasses is the thing. But what if you don't need glasses? Did you slog through this whole piece for nothing? Not at all. A grotesque pair of sunglasses is just as fantastic. Personally, I am in love with the floral specimens from the S/S 2016 capsule collection by Dolce & Gabbana.
What a luxury. What a paradisiacal state. What a hit. Personally, I really want to have one. There's just one small problem. I can't see any toasties anymore.
