Fun & Famous

SHAME NAMES

Let me start this post by saying that I really don't have the most convenient name for someone who grew up abroad. I mean in terms of pronunciation. I was often called ‘Elk’ (yes, I really know that's an elk), ‘Elle’ or ‘Elkie’. The last one has actually become my nickname and I always have to think of singer Elkie Brooks (twelve points if you know who that is). To ensure that my name wouldn't be butchered during my high school graduation, I even had to write it phonetically: El-key Wine-ands. In an American way, of course, since it was an American high school.

But we really need to stop always complaining about everything and I just have to be over the moon with my name, because it could have always been much worse. Much worse. Just look at what I've come across online. You have to get it from your parents...

1. Willie Stroker. Ugh.

2. Chardonnay Hooker. Let's not make this too complicated. It was clear what the parents' favorite wine was, and well, let's hope that last name doesn't indicate Chardonnay's mother's profession...

3. Mike Litoris. You should have just named your son John. It would have saved him a lot of bullying.

4. Jack Goff. Say this name a few times quickly in a row and then you'll understand why it really just can't be.

“You have to get it from your parents...”

5. Christian Guy. And then be disappointed if he's Jewish.

6. Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii. Fortunately, this girl won a lawsuit at the age of eighteen to live her life differently.

7. Ben Dover. What's with all those sexually suggestive names?

8. Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop. Just Google it, I swear I'm not making this up.

9. Jolly Mangina. The last name is pronounced as mahn-gy-nah. The male version of... Right. And then a jolly variant. Hilarious.

10. Dixie Normous. Too bad, if you turn out to have small feet.

Laughing, rolling, roaring. Have a nice weekend!