Fun & Famous

CONSIDER BEFORE YOU BLUFF

Bluff, but bluff in moderation

A little bragging about yourself helps in getting a better job or position, I read in the newspaper last week. There is some truth to that: I don't need to tell anyone how much good PR and marketing you can generate – millions, in the case of Kim Kardashian, whose exact job I still don't quite understand. Or is that just me? Anyway, claiming past successes is not just good PR; you should let it be known that you can do something well or have done something, if that's the case. No one will do it for you, and the chance that others will notice what you have to offer is not huge – sometimes you have to push people's noses into your facts. Those who think this is not the case are probably also waiting for that advertisement in the newspaper that says: “Kalinka, we only want you for this dream job” – and then you can of course replace my name with your own. That advertisement never appears. Really never.

In the United States, it is much more common to boast about achievements, and men seem to be better at it than women. Now, I might be very much from the school of ‘just act normal, then you're already acting crazy enough’ and downplaying my achievements, but I have the impression that Dutch people in general are not that fond of boasting. Too sober, I think. And perhaps a bit too Calvinistic.

However, this does not seem to apply at all to the current generation of twenty-somethings. I admire their entrepreneurial spirit, self-confidence, and their ability for self-affirmation, but I often think at the same time: tut-tut-tut. Why? Simple: some people start acting tough before they have done anything at all. Everyone calls themselves damn smoothly founder/creative thinker/prosaic writer/blogger/lifestyle entrepreneur before anything has even been founded and the creative ideas have only vaguely taken shape in their heads – zero testing against reality or feasibility of all those nice ideas.

“It's good that he wanted to profile himself professionally, but come on: act normal”

I don't want to take the wind out of anyone's sails and I understand that you have to start somewhere, but maybe you should just start first. An example: I received a request through an acquaintance to look at someone's texts because that person wanted to become a fashion journalist. He could write incredibly well, but he didn't quite know where to start, was the message. Fine, I'll do it, people who have the flow in their writing deserve a boost or a foot in the door somewhere, because that's not always easy. What I got was an unsolicited application for a magazine I freelance for, but where I really have no say in new personnel. He had already got it wrong, which would have been obvious with minimal research. That for starters. Secondly: it was a decidedly poorly written epistle moreover (from someone who had chosen writing as a profession), which ended with a signature with grand titles he had attributed to himself – three, with such a slash in between. Education: self-taught. Work experience: none. Skills: subpar.

It's good that he wanted to profile himself professionally, but come on: act normal. You can present yourself as incredibly fantastic and amazing by giving yourself all sorts of titles before you've even taken a step into the job market, but if you're fishing for a chance to prove yourself, then it's just silly to act like you're all that. Especially when it turns out that you can't meet the expectations you've created – which has been the case in almost all instances of boasting about so-called skills that I've seen. Not a big deal, everyone has to learn, but it seems that braggarts just tumble into the pit they have dug for themselves with their bluff. You're still playing in the sandbox, but behaving like a hot shot. Boasting without basis, I find it almost slapstick. Don't do it.

(And for the critics: this was a long time ago and I kindly emailed the person in question tips, plus the address of the person he needed to contact at the relevant magazine. We never heard anything back.)

Written by Kalinka Hählen