Amayzine

15 stupid things I only do when I've had too much to drink

If it seems like I do nothing but pop a cork from a bottle every day, no worries, that's not the case. But I am definitely always in the mood for a drink now and then. But sometimes, very rarely, that drink can lead to a bit too much. drinks which causes my sober self to be temporarily missing and my inner Elkeholic to do silly things. Like this:

  1. The classic: boys texting you that you really shouldn't be texting.
  2. Sneaking a look at his Instagram and accidentally liking something from months ago.
  3. Or worse: the one from the new girl in his life. Yikes.
  4. Very, very possibly I have shared a little secret that I promised to keep forever and always a secret.
  5. The Houdini stuff and completely failing because it turns out I still have a friend's key in my bag so I have to go back and then ultimately stay in the city for a long time instead of wisely going to bed like I initially wanted to do.
  6. Thinking I'm hanging at the bar charmingly to flirt with the bartender but I look like an idiot because I've obviously drunk too much = no balance = man down, man down! There I am again on the floor.
  7. Easily pulling out my debit card which gives me a heart attack the next day from the amount of money I've (again) blown through.
  8. Something with ’liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Beer before liquor, never sicker’ that I can never remember which is why I end up drinking the wrong thing first.
  9. Ordering things online that I don't need at all. Like a second drill. Why really?!
  10. Eating not one but two shawarma sandwiches all by myself.
  11. Getting emotional for absolutely no reason.
  12. Making plans with people I actually don't want to meet up with at all.
  13. A lot of cases of TMI (too much information).
  14. Becoming friends with everyone who is also in line for the bathroom. Not dumb at all actually, quite the opposite, really fun.
  15. Suddenly letting your inner kleptomaniac come out. You wake up with all sorts of new glasses, plates (not me, May does), and salt and pepper shakers, succulents, ashtrays (even if you don't smoke)…

And the biggest lie comes the next day – when you say you'll never drink alcohol again in your life. Until a few days later you have a glass of vino in your hand again. Luckily they say that smart people drink a lot.