All the games you played as a child that were the shit
Today I'm taking you back, okay? Back to your childhood. Back to the time of your Annemaria cuckoo game. The time of playing handkerchiefs. Gunpowder. Jump rope. Bottle football. Making a top 3 of your favorite boys from class. You had a ‘drawer’. That thing where you kept all your secrets + fountain pen balls and the dirty boys from class their pranks. That time. Your childhood that was actually so ridiculously chill when you think back on it, that you would want to do it all over again.
And that's why it's time for a throwback. Doing tax returns, doing laundry, and tackling mountains of emails? We didn't do that. We did this in our free time:
1. Stand in the basket
‘Stand in the basket and the ball is for... KIKI!’ Oh, I was so incredibly into this game. Especially when the ball was for you, then everyone could run away and you could take three steps towards someone else to hit them.
2. Boys catch the girls (and girls catch the boys of course)
And then run away very cool and hope that the hot guy from class would come to ‘catch’ you. 50 shades child pen, it suddenly has something sexual.
3. Making slime yourself
Making that green, gooey mess in your backyard was heavenly. You could choose between the real thick ‘slime’ or the watery snot variant with soap in the plastic bag. Yup: kids are weird creatures.
4. Marbles
That big chunk with strings was totally the shit. Or what about those speckled pinkies? Just tap them against each other and game on, bitcheszzz.
5. There’s a lady murdered behind the curtain
I saw it aaaaall, it was on num-ber 10. The blood ran down the stairs, it looked like tomato juice, I took a liiiiik of it, I got sick from it. WTF WHAT KIND OF PSYCHOPATHIC NUMBERS ARE THESE.
6. I declare war on...
We found it very normal back then, starting a little war for fun. It was a bit like stand in the basket by the way, but hitting others was just the most fun.
7. Ring and run
And preferably at the biggest sourpuss in the street. Until one day you got caught and had to go with your mother to the neighbor to apologize. That was really very annoying.
8. Walking on stilts
I was so particularly bad at it that my parents and the gym teacher wondered if I had a motor problem. It was funny, feeling like a giant for a few seconds. And falling hard on your face was dangerous, ai ai, those stilts were life-threatening.
9. Counting to ten in the riiiiiimboe
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5… Tap the counter, call your name and hide like the SODEMIETER.
10. Rollerblading
And oh dear if you didn't put on your knee and wrist protectors. Note to all parents: we hid them in the bushes and put them back on neatly before we got home. Sorry.
11. Anne-ma-ria-CUCKOO
And then be really bummed if you had Ferry Doedens (a.k.a. living statue) in class.
12. Everything with Pokémon cards
During recess, you could steal other people's cards by playing a handclapping game. And I would cry half the day because my rare Charizard dragon ended up in the pocket of that bully. Traumas.
13. Loafing around
I can tell you: if you are born as a mini-person (as Elke would say), you feel like a TOTAL LOAF your whole childhood.
14. Skipper, may I cross?
Yes or no? Do I have to pay a cent, yes or no? Yes? Howwwww? Like a frog! And off we went. All together like a bunch of idiots hopping around the schoolyard. Lame.
Being a child, it was a party. I would do it all over again. Except for the statements from your parents like: ‘If you don't do this or that, you'll go to bed without dinner.’ Without dinner? HOW BARBARIC.
