EVERYTHING YOU RECOGNIZE WHEN YOU'RE CLUMSY

Look, ideal is different, but you've learned to live with it in the meantime. Your low reaction speed standardly causes troubles. Your family and friends are used to it, no one is surprised when you slip again, bump into a pole, or spill something, and you know, it's okay. You've simply developed a very high pain threshold, who wouldn't want that?

Clumsy Harry, this one is for you. You probably recognize the following mishaps:

Pulling on a door that actually needs to be pushed

Happens to you one way or another just a bit too often.

Painting nails you no longer do yourself

Then it's off to the salon. If you do it yourself once, it's drama within two minutes. Just when you need to pee, you bump your nail or a hair gets stuck. #TheStruggleIsReal.

White clothing?

HAHA, in your dreams. No, this is just not for you. Your favorite is black. Safe. Fine.

Applying mascara

And then every morning you still manage to poke yourself in the eye, as if that mascara does it on purpose.

Multitasking is impossible

Walking + drinking = bystanders, run for your life.

Tripping is your specialty

Even if you walk three meters, you can lose your balance from every tiny stone. It's actually quite impressive. Falling? No way, you prefer to call it regular gravity checks.

At house parties, you drink from a plastic cup

The only one, yes. Your friends aren't crazy.

High fiving goes wrong

Always. Don’t even try it.

Forgetting someone's birthday

Never happens to you. Sigh.

Greeting someone is the worst

Do you get three kisses? Or one? Or one or three or three or one or three, now choose. AND YES, it always goes wrong.

Gym? That wasn't really your thing back then

Simply life-threatening, walking over such a beam or jumping over that SCARY vault. No, you were on your period. Twenty-five times a year, yes.

Gossiping often goes wrong

“I find her so annoying.”

………….

“She's standing behind me, right? No, okay, great.”

Cooking is dangerous

Well, and that situation with the oven and the fire department aside, because you obviously couldn't do anything about that.

Accidentally hitting people is very normal

Hey, can you help it that someone always walks by when you're just about to make wild hand gestures?

Your phone regularly kisses your forehead

When you're in bed WhatsApping and you drop the thing again PATS on your face. Your skull is used to it by now.

But come on guys, clumsy, me? Can I help it that the floor hates me, the tables and chairs tease me, and the wall always gets in the way? I'm not clumsy and awkward, okay? I'm graceful.

Like a cow.

On skates.

So there.