HAND IN HAND

(because you can love anyone)

Imagine… You had a nice evening with your loved one and you walk hand in hand in the dark on your way home. If you don't belong to the single ladies this probably happens to you often. But then you suddenly encounter a group of complete strangers who feel the need to berate you and your partner for holding hands. With a bolt cutter. Sounds absurd, right? Like a failed horror story from a dubious B-movie. But in Arnhem, it was real. Jasper and Ronnie were the victims on Saturday night after a night out because they were walking home hand in hand.

I always feel a bit nauseous when I hear something like this. And the fact that I use the word ‘always’ here is what I find the worst. Then I think of the evening when my dearest girlfriend nervously paced around on my black Ikea chair in my too-small student studio in Rotterdam. Her heart was probably just shy of running a mini-marathon, because I could almost hear it. She had to tell me something and I already knew it was important when she called. It wasn't just a little important, but it turned out to be her biggest life changer ever. She was in love. With a woman. And that woman became the one she said ‘YES’ to very loudly (and sweetly too) and that woman also became the mother of her child. Oh, I was indeed silent for a second, but that was mainly because I had never seen her so giggly in love.

“I had never seen her so giggly in love”

There was a house, a beauty of a wedding in pastel colors on the beach including an extremely well-executed sunset. I had the ridiculous honor of being her witness. And I wanted that from the tip of my crown to the tip of my big toe (and I don't say that lightly, because I normally talk little about my toes). Those two had to and would be together, because as cliché as it sounds; they are made for each other. And so they have been together ever since, now with the most handsome little man in the form of a son. When I see them together, I can only smile like a happy fool. That's why it hurts extra when I hear the story of Jasper and Ronnie. Because how in the world can you not find something so beautiful okay?

For me, it's such a natural thing that I scratch my head a bit when I forget that they can't just go on vacation to Egypt or Dubai. It's illegal there for a woman and woman or man and man to find happiness together. Then you think: that's there and it says something about how delighted a country can be. But now Alexander Pechtold walked hand in hand with Wouter Koolmees to a discussion about the formation and the rainbows color the photos on my Facebook timeline because it happened here. Can we please, no matter how old-fashioned and outdated I find it, start over again? That you can just walk down the street with the man, woman, or whatever you love? Hand in hand.