Amayzine

Help, it's my birthday

(and turning 25 is suddenly quite a thing)

Well, wow, laugh at me if you want, but seriously; I've been feeling a weird little tickle all week. The I'm-turning-twenty-five tickle. Look, 21 was fun (something with legally-being-able-to-drink-in-America fun), I didn't have much trouble with 22, just like with 23/24. But 25? Holy sh*t, that suddenly feels like a ‘half Sarah’. Half of fifty.

Despite the fact that I’m still young, really - but the inner drama queen is taking over here -, I notice that this is the first year I have ‘some’ trouble with my age. By the way, I always find it strange that some numbers seem worse than others. The tens are definitely a bitch. Once you’ve hopped over that, one or two years extra doesn’t matter much, until you reach five, like at twenty-five. Then it already feels like heading towards thirty and that’s another ten, so more misery.

Back to that age of 25. It is seen as an important turning point between being young and being an adult. Technically, you’re still young and can do whatever you want. Binge-watching Netflix all weekend, for example, and shoving in tubs of B&J Cookie Dough without anyone bothering you. But the chance of gray hair is also lurking. In fact, maybe you’ve already had that. And do I suddenly see several smaller wrinkles next to my eye? Those laugh lines that I always shout are so charming on Lieke van Lexmond?

‘You shall enjoy the 19 degrees and the sun that is predicted. Slurp oysters and pop champagne.’

Until you get them yourself, yes. The same goes for hangovers: suddenly they taste different. In the past, you’d turn off the lights in the pub, now you say at 1 AM that you’re ‘suddenly tired’. AND THAT’S WHERE IT GOES WRONG. That might be my biggest fear: one day being the boring jerk. Because nobody wants to be the boring jerk.

Oh dear, time for a B-day action plan for today:

  • You shall not roar under a blanket.
  • You shall repeat this sentence several times today: ’25 is the new 21… 25 is the new 21… 25 is the n…’
  • You shall conjure your new Céline sunglasses from your bag to put a stop to the laugh lines today.
  • You shall celebrate that you’ve hit the half Sarah. All songs with the line ‘It’s my party and I cry if I want to’ may not be sung all day.
  • You shall enjoy the 19 degrees and the sun that is predicted. Slurp oysters and pop champagne.
  • You shall get ridiculously drunk.
    Probably also eat your weight in sushi at this sushi festival.
  • You shall NEVER become the boring jerk, understood? Never.
  • You shall never publish lists that are written solely for yourself on the web.
  • You shall now jump in the shower like crazy because arriving late as the hostess at your own party is weird. Or maybe it’s cool again. ‘Cause it’s my party and I cry if I want t… Oh shit.