If your girlfriend is going through a tough time

Here's how to approach it

‘If there’s anything I can do for you, just let me know, okay?’ That’s also what I always say when I hear the news that a friend is going through a rough time. It’s difficult to find the right words, but know that just saying you’re there for them makes it a bit easier for that person. And I know this from experience.

About a year ago, I lost someone who was very dear to me. Or yes, is still very dear to me, even though he’s no longer here. The word ‘difficult’ doesn’t really do justice to how you feel at such a moment. The grief is still so incredibly fresh in my case, and that’s why I value my dear girlfriends and boyfriends who give me an overload of love in any way possible.

Do you have a girlfriend who is going through a tough time? I’ll mention a few things that the dearest people in my life have done for me to ensure that now and then there was a big fat smile on my face.

Let her be sad

Alright, as I write this down, it might sound a bit odd. What I mean to say is that everyone deals with sadness in their own way. It’s something very personal. Suppose you’ve also been through something difficult, don’t indicate how the other should deal with her feelings based on how you did it. What matters now is your girlfriend: you have a supportive role.

Stay in the now

It’s very easy to focus on the future and say that everything will be alright, but it’s about the now. And right now she’s going through hell. Just be there for her, and make sure she knows that.

It’s about her

I must honestly admit that I’ve been terrible at keeping in touch with people this past year. I’ve hurt friends because they hardly heard from me, but I hope they know that this was never a conscious action. You’re not really present in your head at such a moment. So if you don’t hear from her often or feel unappreciated? Please don’t take it personally. Your girlfriend needs to find peace in her life again.

Don’t wait for her

I just started with this: ‘If there’s anything I can do, let me know…’ Of course, this is nice to hear, but also know that she probably will never ask for anything. Just say right away (just as an example): ‘I’m coming over on Saturday at four with a bottle of wine, make sure you’re home.’

Rest & relaxation

Surprise your girlfriend with a reservation for a massage. That’s what my bestie did for me to still have a moment for myself during a hectic period. Or just go have a nice time with your girlfriend at a spa. You might think that’s too obvious, but believe me: rest in the body also helps for peace in your mind. Avoid the larger spas (you know which ones I mean) so there aren’t too many people.

Love, love, love

No-brainer, really. The Beatles once sang ‘Love Is All You Need’ and call it a cliché or whatever, give them love. It’s the perfect remedy.