KIKI’S WHO IS THE MOLE?-TALK

Week 4

Hi dear mole buddies, let me crawl onto the confession chair with shame on my cheeks and my tail between my legs. I have been so busy this week with Amsterdam Fashion Week (read here our report from day 4: ‘the finale’), that I completely forgot to watch our favorite show. I even forgot to place those freaking points on my WIDM app, which means I am now the only loser in my group with half the points of the rest. No, everything is going great here. As punishment, I had to get up extra early today, and catch up on the Saturday evening hour in bed. Thank god for Uitzending Gemist. Well, shall we continue? I thought so.

1. Imanuelle, where can I get the children’s book of the lonely budgie? I’ll buy it right away, for the mental support, you know. I’ve never heard such a sad story about a budgie #hangintheregurll #onedayyouwillflyagain.

2. Luckily, my Ima is back on track during the lasso task. Or as Jochem says: ‘That cowgirl had to be happy at the end of the task if she was still on her horse.’ Old stud.

3. How cool is it that there are 7 moles participating this year! Just a compliment to the creators, really a fun game element, right? Oh wait, then something goes wrong with a pot that is completely spent.

4. No, seriously. HOW cringeworthy was the bidding task for the jokers? Humanity really at its lowest. Almost the ENTIRE POT for three jokers? Have you all gone completely CRAZY? MY CAPSLOCK IS EVEN ANGRY ABOUT IT.

5. Or are we practicing for a new play? Once the calf is auctioned, do they dump the pot? In that case: enjoy it, mole buddies.

6. On Twitter, we all unanimously agree. The cameraman of WIDM has a butt fetish during the hay bale task. Holy sh*t, Def Rhymz, is that you?

7. Just imagine. If you win Who is the Mole?, you get a debt of -€3000. Something about karma is a bitch, HAHA.

8. Jeroen, even if you are the last insurance advisor on earth, I’ll handle my own troubles. No, thank you.

9. This year, the NPO had to cut back on voice overs. Luckily, there was A: the famous voice of Jeroen already, and B: with Diederik in your program (who can compulsively describe landscapes grain by grain as if he’s in a bad science fiction movie) a narrator is unnecessary. Isn’t that lovely?

“We need you Sigrid, weeh.”

10. Here’s a fun fact: it’s pretty cool that they still use that ‘Trust Nobody’ from Horace Cohen from season 11. In this video it’s recorded live. Jesus, it would be whispered sexy in your ear at night, I’m already getting nervous.

11. I’ve never seen anyone cry so proudly and sweetly as Sigrid. A kiss on it. And it’s a shame, because all the fun candidates are quickly out and whose fashion should I enjoy now? Ima’s army jumpsuits? Jochem’s sexless Barbapapa looks? I mean. We need you Sigrid, weeh.

In short, there’s no better day to think of The Mole. The candidates are left stunned after Sigrid’s departure. And so am I. I think it’s time to refresh the suspicions after all those mole tricks this week.

Current standings?

1. Sanne Wallis de Vries (no, no, no. Just no.)

2. Jeroen Kijk in de Vegte (was again in a key position during the bidding task. Yep, stays on my list.)

3. Imanuelle Grives (I would have to break all my friendships if she turns out to be The Mole. Really Ima, don’t do this to me.)

4. Thomas Cammaert (previously not suspicious, but yes: Thomas knows exactly where to be to rake in the least money. Intense Mole Alert all of a sudden!)

5. Jochem van Gelder (Mr. Barbapapa gets a slap on the nose for embarrassing Sigrid’s trust. Go to the corner! And yes, still suspicious.)

6. Diederik Jekel (Didi, you’re dropping out of my top 3. It’s too obvious. I think you’re just a really good winner. Not a Mole.)

7. Sigrid ten Napel (we enjoyed you chick…)

Next week same place same time? I’ll bring the cheesecake, you bring the tea? Cozy.