Letter to Patricia

Patries, we need to talk. Woman to woman. This is going completely the wrong way. For a week now, you have been the subject of every friends' WhatsApp group in the Netherlands. Have you seen it yet? The reactions varied, but these were the three main ones. 1. Not nice for her daughter. 2. She looks great, and where can we buy that mascara that stays on so well? And 3. I hope her earrings are real gold, otherwise they will turn green after this session.

You are the queen of the bedroom. How many times have you been in Playboy? You are living the brand.

What do you think about it? That was the question. I had to think about it for a moment. Gosh. What did I think about it? The two V's came up. Annoying for you. For your loved one. For Christina. I mean: no one likes it when a video of your most intimate and personal moment is thrown out into the world.

Maybe your sexual preference is a bit exotic, even a simple garden-variety quickie (or a sturdy session with starfish) I find too intimate to see from another. Or to hear. And isn't the bedroom (or the bathroom for that matter) a place where we can be naughty (to use that terrible word)? Don't we all have a fantasy that you might share with your loved one, but prefer not to reveal to your mother? Let alone to the rest of the world. Long story short, I understand that this is terrible for you. Humiliating. But as Eva Jinek already told you: you haven't killed anyone. You haven't betrayed anyone. There were no minors involved, and as far as I can tell, no one did it against their will. So.

Half of male Netherlands would wish that their partner had even a shred of your femininity and sexuality.

My other V stood for entertaining. In the good sense of the word. Entertaining because I see a woman of quite a high age who looks amazing. Again: where do I buy that mascara? Entertaining because I see a woman who is living it up in the bedroom, who is pushing her boundaries. And everyone who says it's humiliating to let this be done to you should shut their mouth, because we both know you were completely in charge there. Entertaining because I see a woman showing us women that there is still sex and intimacy at a certain age. Entertaining because I see a woman of whom half (or maybe three-quarters or maybe even all) of male Netherlands would wish that their partner had even a shred of your femininity and sexuality.

Please Patries, straighten your back. Don't be broken. Think of Hugh Grant who was caught with a prostitute in Los Angeles, think of George Michael who was publicly outed. Haven't they only become better? And cooler? And more human? You are the queen of the bedroom. How many times have you been in Playboy? You are living the brand. You know what I would have found truly shocking? If a video had leaked where I would see you playing cards. With a little lawyer next to you and a dry cracker. That, dear Patricia, would have been truly shocking.

P.S.: Where do I buy that mascara?