Little lies in disguise

(and that we all feel guilty about)

You should know that we share the editorial team with the two coolest online magazines in the world. Our older sister Franska and the foodies of FavorFlav. A big party, just imagine the coziest chicken coop with streamers. Only when the colleague from FF shouted that it only took five minutes, we sometimes catch up, all alarm bells went off at decibel-dampening volume at the Amayzers.

Therefore, below are little lies that we all use (here by the way, you can read everything about the more serious form) of which the recipient knows it's nonsense.

Lie in disguise 1: it only takes five minutes. Something never takes just five minutes. A survey doesn't take five minutes at all. Sitting together to discuss something never takes five minutes in your long life. And if you hear a street vendor shouting five minutes away, you better start running.

 
Lie in disguise 2: she's in a meeting, can you send an email? They just want you to email, not call. I know: it’s not cozy and far from productive, but just send an email anyway.

 
Lie in disguise 3: I'm on my way. Mwahaha, not even close. The person in question is probably standing with a towel around their hair and one eyelash in mascara. But you already knew that.

 
Lie in disguise 4: I'm just looking a little longer, but then I'll come back. You’ll never see them again. Stop lying and say goodbye to the lady who has turned the whole store upside down for you. False hope is no life.

 
Lie in disguise 5: if I have time, I’ll drop by. This is the polite version of: I’m not coming. And the person you’re saying this silly chat to knows that all too well.

 
Lie in disguise 6: it’s so busy on the road. And back to point number three. You’re not on your way, you’re late. Those are two very different things and you know it.

 
Lie in disguise 7: oh man, how did I get that stain? Okay okay, guilty. Sometimes, but very rarely, I want to wear a piece of clothing so badly that I ignore that tiny dot that appeared at my breakfast. Then I pretend this happened on the road and I have no clue where it came from. But actually, it was just a little blob of low-fat quark.

 
Lie in disguise 8: I woke up like this on Instagram.
Hell no, you did not wake up like that. Unless you fell asleep with that foundation on your nose and blush on your cheeks, but in that case, I normally look a little more clownish.