NO DESIRE TO DATE

It's Sunday afternoon. I'm sprawled out in my oversized sweater and bunny slippers on the couch. In one hand a bag of addictive coconut chips and in the other hand my umpteenth romance novel this month (why, you'll read about it here). And then a message appeared on my phone. ‘Hey Simoon, do you feel like having a cup of coffee somewhere today?’ Pfff, that's the last thing I feel like doing this afternoon. So after an hour and a half (because yes: busy, ahem) I type back that I’m having a hysterical day and don’t know if I can manage it. Yes guys, I keep shouting very loudly that Mr. Perfect can come forward, but in the meantime, I’m really a drama when it comes to dating.

‘It’s a match!’ appeared on my phone (this was still in the time when Tinder had a spot on my phone) and I told my life story for the thousandth time. The next step was WhatsApp (Tinder is already rubbish anyway, but that chat is just pathetic) and eventually, an appointment was made. Nice, I thought. But by the time that discussed date approached, I had the urge to cancel the date over and over again. No desire anymore.

‘It’s a match!’

Or last week. I met with Mr. ‘nice-but-maybe-not-funny-enough’ at a location in Amsterdam that was way too busy for a Saturday. Lunching together, nice, but I really only have an hour. Just quickly in between, because at three o'clock I had to be ready for the next appointment (between you and me: for the next so-called appointment). Secretly, I already knew in advance that this date would lead nowhere, but this time I just couldn't bring myself to cancel at the last minute. So I pretended someone was waiting for me. Does this sound familiar? No worries, just join team Pinocchio a.k.a. the Little Liars Squad.

But what turns out now? Not only you and I sometimes use a little white lie for the greater good. Research has been done into the struggles in dating. Online dating site Parship examined the phenomenon of ‘getting stood up’. It turned out that as many as half of singles sometimes cancel a date prematurely. A quarter dares to admit this. And one in four singles admits to using an excuse to get out of a date. It probably doesn't surprise you, but we women are worse than the male gender. The research showed that as much as twelve percent use the excuse that someone else is in the picture. Seven percent say they have personal problems. And six percent pretend to be under the covers with a thermometer. And yes, then you have those types who just lazily hang on the couch and supposedly are super busy.