The 8 annoying types you encounter in the cinema

Just when you think you can finally enjoy the most hyped movie of the summer, you find yourself between the two most annoying couples you can imagine in the cinema. Yes, it happened to me and a friend last week. Finally, we went to see Dunkirk, you know, the one by Christopher Nolan with Harry Styles, but we had (to say it lightly) the worst seats in the house. On the left, an elderly couple that I think finds very little to enjoy in a cinema and thus didn't know the unspoken rules very well, and on the right, a couple that thought this was the perfect moment to discuss their entire day.

1. The elderly couple (who I was sitting next to) that doesn't quite understand that a cinema is just a bit different from watching a movie at home on the couch and calls out ‘ooh’ and ‘ah’ at everything that appears on screen. A boat appears on the screen: ‘Oohhh, what a beautiful boat!’ You see a plane: ‘Oohhh, look at that plane!’ You can basically just close your eyes because everything that appears on screen they just vocalize. Kindly asking them to be a bit quieter has to happen every fifteen minutes. Miserable.
2. And also in the category of talking through everything; the couple on the right. I think they confused a café with the cinema because they discussed each other's entire day. And when they were kindly asked to be quiet, they immediately got defensive: ‘But I'm not saying anything at all?’ No, ma'am, indeed, you were totally not talking about this and that. Mehhh.
3. Lastly, in that same category: the gang of misery. Also known as: the group of friends that only jokes around with each other and makes noise, throwing popcorn; the whole shebang.
4. Do you suffer from misophonia? Then you are seriously unhappy if you are near someone who smacks loudly on their popcorn.
5. And people who slurp their drinks.
6. Of course, you also always have the texters. Just to be clear: your sound may be off, but I can definitely see that light burning.
7. Oh yes, let's not forget the lovey-dovey couples who just happen to be sitting right in front of you and are busy making out instead of watching the movie. #Getaroom
8. The three-meter tall man sitting right in front of you. Why do they never make sure he has a seat at the back?

Then just wait until all the movies are Netflix available to see…