Fun & Famous
PLOP! 9X WHY RENSKE DOESN'T DO DRY JANUARY
PLOP!
Yes, that was the sound of the first bottle from last night.
PLOP! PLOP! PLOP! PLOP! PLOP! That were indeed more bottles.
It should be clear to people: I don't do dry January. Quite special indeed, because every famous and attractive blogger is currently doing dry January. But hey, I just happen not to. And that while I am indeed (sharp, sharp) also an attractive and famous blogger. Anyway, I just wanted to know if I could do it. If I would survive. If I could handle it. What kind of wood I am actually made of, so to speak. Well, I found out! I can happily reveal to you that it is not nearly as difficult as it seems at first. Really, anyone can do it. Just put the bottle to your mouth and pop and clock away. You'll see, you can do it too. You immediately feel very strong, cool, and together. And cheerful. And exuberant. And awesome. And attractive. And smart. And sexy. And witty. And above all super photogenic.
And as if that wasn't enough, I have typed out 9 extra reasons below why I don't do dry January.
1. January is just an enormous crappy month. Winter lasts another hundred years, really a very long time in any case, during which it unfortunately doesn't matter how many summer accessories you wear (I seem to have claimed on this site a while ago that wearing summer accessories helps in January. Just fear that it doesn't help, unfortunately. Not really in any case. But yes, it keeps you off the streets, shall we say).
2. In January, you also just have days that you might as well get through a bit hazy. Take the day you have to go to an overcrowded living mall to buy a new couch or worse: a lift chair with your mother or grandmother. That's a chair from which old people can get up better.
3. It still gets quite dark early in January. Well, and what do you do when it's dark? You light candles. And possibly the fireplace. But now I ask you: with your glass of cola by the candle or the open fire, do you call that fun? Do you call that nice? Do you call that cozy? Do you call that photogenic?
4. You have to support the small entrepreneur in January. And wine shops are often small entrepreneurs.
5. I still have a lot of wine left from Christmas and it's coincidentally not wine that gets better if you leave the bottles lying around.
6. In winter (and especially in January) you often look pale. If you drink a glass of wine, you look less pale.
7. There are many New Year's drinks in January with your family or your boss. But have you ever survived a New Year's drink with your family or your boss without alcohol? That's what I mean.
8. It's sale time in January. So you save money. And money should roll, so you roll it to the small entrepreneur on the corner where they sell wine.
9. There will probably be a Ben and Jerry's coming, called Urban Bourbon. And even if there might not really be alcohol in it, when you taste something like that, you will naturally long for the real deal. Just think about it: how wonderfully liberating would it be to just be able to say: just give me a glass?
Well, I hope you found this helpful.
Tag everyone who, like me, also doesn't do dry January, because together you stand strong.
