Proven: why you no longer like someone when they finally like you
The venomous game of love has been played since day and dawn, and what is so fun about it: no one knows the rules of the game.
Because why do you get smitten with one and not the other? How come you have drool hanging from your chin when you see that one man and not that other? And why do you suddenly find him quite uninteresting when he finally gives in?
You’re just not that into him
According to psychologists and dating experts, there are clear explanations for this. In love, nothing is as important as the chase. Boys, that’s the key to the game. Cat-and-mouse, that idea. The uncertainty, the doubt, the unanswered texts, the evenings he can’t meet up and prefers to do something with his friends: the basis of every good love story.
This applies to both men and women. And if you see him sitting there, then there is a fierce battle going on. In short: you hoist yourself day in and day out in bright red bustiers and lace stay-ups (you know, that pantyhose that’s just not quite a pantyhose and doesn’t fit at all, but is sexy when you take off your dress). You pull out all the tricks in bed and surprise him with the most exciting dates. A quickie in the restroom at the restaurant: you take the initiative. Then paying the bill to show him that you are a strong independent woman: of course. You act enthusiastic, pretty, fun, make time for him and still he barely texts you ‘goodnight darling‘. The sadness.
But then. Suddenly. You’re somewhat fed up. He has been quite overly present lately and he is funny, but yes, he’s also a bit of a braggart. And is that a whiff of sweat passing by? When you compare him to your ex, it’s really not great. And that ridiculous jacket… Please. You would almost say something about it. He’s just not quite it. You’re secretly already further looking: what other fish are swimming around you? He is gradually becoming less of a priority and you quickly realize that you want to call your ex again or that you’d rather go on a date with that cute bartender on Friday night. Aha, that’s the moment.
Because at the moment you slow down, he speeds up. He shows up as a surprise at your door, buys lingerie for you, has flowers delivered to your work, suddenly has time for a date with you every evening. Phew. Meh. It doesn’t have to be that intense anymore. You’d rather stay dry for a while than be with him again… Eww, no. The sadness. And so you brush him off time and again. The explanation: the chase is over for you and just beginning for him. He keeps trying because you are the one who is backing off. And the more available and ready to mingle he is, the less you are stimulated. The poor man. There he stands, with his bunch of roses in his garbage bag jacket.
So unfair, that game of love. Just as it has been going since day and dawn. Fortunately, sometimes, very rarely, it goes just a little differently. It is indeed possible to like each other exactly the same. Then it’s suddenly child’s play. You happy, he happy: what luck. But if you’re head over heels and it just won’t flow… You know what to do.
FACTS
– Speaking of monogamy. Besides humans, wolves, swans, and termites also look for one partner for life.
– After 4 minutes, you already know if you really like someone or not.
– If you’re looking for a short fling, you tend to look more at someone’s body. If you’re more interested in a lover for life, you pay more attention to his face during a date.
