The Great. Painful. Porn Story.

Frustrated, friend X calls me. “Look, he’s lying. He’s watching it after all.” I nod in agreement. “I secretly checked his history,” she confesses. Oh boy, and then all hell broke loose…

Because a man confronting his porn behavior is the same as going to the Amsterdam Arena in a Feyenoord shirt where Ajax just lost 5-1: asking for outright trouble. Why do we do it anyway? We don’t even know. You want to know what turns him on. Maybe check out the competition a bit. Until you, as a brunette, suddenly find yourself in a sex video full of blondes and wonder: blonde. BLONDE? HE DOESN'T LIKE BLONDE AT ALL?!

 
Let me put it this way: if you think your boyfriend doesn’t watch porn, there’s a good chance you’re mistaken. Sorry babe, as painful as it is, they all do it. Some more often than others, but it happens. And some lie about it. Because they don’t want to hurt you, because they’re a bit ashamed, or because they think it’s none of your business. But how do you deal with it when your love turns out to be interested in pornographic stuff? And why is it so damn hard to have a normal conversation about it without him shutting it down or getting grumpy? To what extent can porn  it be burdensome for your relationship? Questions I honestly don’t dare to tackle.

‘Watching porn is nothing more than just releasing some seed‘

Well, I immediately call a friend to bombard him with a barrage of porn questions. Okay, okay, Mr.

wants to remain anonymous, I can relate. He immediately emphasizes that we women shouldn’t take it so seriously. When asked why men in relationships feel the need for porn, he responds dryly: “Look Kiek, men are simple beings. My girlfriend isn’t around 24/7 and sometimes you can suddenly get very impulsively horny. For most men, watching porn is nothing more than just releasing some seed. That’s it. Nothing more and nothing less.‘

I laugh at the thought. Are we really making all those arguments over that? Just to ‘release some seed’? That damn sperm always crawls where it shouldn’t go. And we women hypocritically act like we never touch ourselves. Can we really blame those men for not being as freaking brilliant and imaginative as we are to do it without? And by the way, there are plenty of women who also quite enjoy a bit of steamy porn. Yes, that exists too: female-friendly sexy porn (these are the best sex sites for women by the way). Isn’t that exactly the same? Don’t we all fantasize about that wrong ex? that Ryan Gosling? Harvey Specter? Or what about that exciting new colleague? Anyway, you get my point.

But to be fair: I think there is a limit when it comes to porn. And in that regard, I look at the men a bit sternly again, because some seem to have quite a bit of trouble with the frequency. Barely having sex with your love but jerking off three times a week in front of the screen, for example: not okay, friends. With this, shockdock porn is officially opened and I dive into the wonderful world of fascination for online sex. Stay tuned ladies and gents, stay tuned…