THE FOUR MISTAKES WE MAKE WHEN DATING

Dating; either you love it or you hate it. I have so often wanted to cancel last minute, because after about a thousand times of having to introduce yourself, telling where you come from (in my case always a tricky story), what exactly you do for work (’Oh, so you're a blogger?’ No, not everything online falls under the category of blogger) and then also that awkward moment of whether or not to go home with that dude, because you also don't want to come off too easy, at some point you are just done with it. Long story short: I am secretly jealous of everyone who has passed this phase. Sure, those butterflies in your stomach are nice when you've just met a new love – I mean, read our suggestions here)? I'm meanwhile scrolling through the first of the Monate like an addict through Elkes Nieuwsflix, but nothing, zip, nada. Even Netflix is acting suspicious... Quiet then. I want a sequel to my favorite and I want it now. But with a chronic shortage and the absence of rattling conversations, what happens to your body when you're in love. But it all starts with the miserable dating. And we sometimes do dating completely wrong. And completely wrong can lead to heartache. We don't want that. So ladies, here are the four things we need to keep in mind from now on:

You focus too much on your performance

The mentality that has been drilled into us these days is the whole ’we're not good enough’ story. That you actually have to try to present yourself as even better than you really are. But babe, you're fine just the way you are. On a date, you need to make sure that you are truly present, paying attention to the other person and not trying to promote yourself – especially not in a way that makes you come across as a type that you are not. Show interest in your date, be yourself, and if it's mutual: great. If not; bye, this date is a waste of time.

You don't have your priorities straight

Often, people are too focused on things like the appearance of the other person and whether he or she has a steady income. Just know that these are things that change over time. No one looks exactly the same at forty as they did at twenty-eight. Sorry, even Botox won't help you with this. Sure, you need to feel attracted to someone and a stable income provides a nice feeling, but this is not the core of a long-lasting relationship. It's the shared goals and values that are important. That's where you should focus.

You ignore all red flags

Trust your own instincts. If you feel that your date is a jealous type and very clingy, don't ignore that. If you don't feel that there is an honest balance between you, that he makes all the decisions that suit him best, then this is doomed to fail. So if you have your doubts, don't ignore that feeling.

Thinking that chemistry and compatibility are the same

Maybe there are incredibly many sparks between you, but unfortunately that doesn't mean that this boy is your Mr. Right. Perhaps you are not good for each other at all. Chemistry can be misleading. Take narcissism as an example; it can often be hidden under someone's charm. So no matter how charming your date may be, how much attraction there is, make sure you discover whether there is genuinely a match between you and don't confuse the two. Do you want a stable, long relationship? Then choose compatibility.

Alright ladies, go for it. Being single is fun, but having your own love is even more fun.

Cheers,

a hopeless romantic.

Source: Insider