The sexual fantasies that men google
Let’s face it friend, it turns out that our Dutch boys are searching for quite a lot of naughtiness on the web. But why? And what exactly are they looking at? It remains the tricky question that every man seems to politically correctly avoid. To the displeasure of you and me, because hello, we want to know what is so interesting about that squirting, red-haired school teacher with glitter on her punani. Is anyone going to tell that?
Sorry guys, today it's time to expose your little secrets. I dove into the depths of the sex web, flipped through countless data from websites like Pornhub (a kind of YouTube, but for sex videos), did some thorough field research with some men (no worries, you’ll remain anonymous, you bunch of fuckers) and made some discoveries. Time for a number of porn-tastic facts in a row:
– ‘Lesbian’ remains the most searched term worldwide. ‘Step mom’ is in second place, followed by ‘MILF’. Stepmother? Seriously? Eww.
– Fetish videos also turn out to be incredibly popular. Think of pain fetish (for example, candle wax videos), rubber fetish, kidnapping, bondage, and shoe fetish. But there are also heavier ones, like blood fetish, choking fetish, and piss fetish. So cozy those men.
– Dutch people watch quite a lot on Pornhub, we rank fourteenth worldwide in terms of the number of times we visit the site. Quite intense for such a small country.
– The most popular celebrity to search for butt/breast pictures in the Netherlands is Kim Kardashian. Just like in America, England, Australia, Sweden, Belgium, and France by the way. Additionally, there is a lot of searching for Kim Holland and Brandi Love here.
– On average, Dutch people stay 9 minutes and 33 seconds on a porn video. In Japan, the men seem to be ready earlier (7 minutes 27 seconds on average) and in the Philippines, they stick around the longest (12 minutes 45 seconds on average).
– The men I spoke to around me shared their favorite sites with me. 4tube (‘because almost everything is in HD man!’), Beeg (no ads, even better!) and some clarity regarding genres I didn’t know yet...
Bang Bus
You can take the concept quite literally. Two appetizing porn ladies drive around in a bus and pick up ‘unwitting’ passersby, to then show them all corners of the bus. ‘The bus is coming, the bus is coming’ suddenly takes on a whole different meaning...
Fake Taxi
Was literally described like this by someone I know: “Hot chick gets into taxi, gets f**ked by taxi driver because she can’t pay the fare.” Ah, right. You guys have something with modes of transport. Almost forgot.
Casting Couch
See it as an audition for porn actresses. I looked it up and came across the following titles: ‘Castingcouch-HD – Sally, 19 and Innocent’. ‘Big Tit Blonde Nurse Student Creampie Audition’. ‘Casting Couch-X Ashamed 18 year old f**ks to pay bills.’ I clicked away. Mom, I’m scared.
– Fun fact: in North Holland, there is surprisingly a lot of searching for Arabic porn. In Utrecht, there is more searching for ‘black’ and in Limburg, hold on tight, ‘fart’ turns out to be a popular search term. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
Are we completely off the hook then? No, women worldwide search the most for the search terms Lesbian, Big dick, Threesome and Female friendly. And I must honestly say: I completely understand the last one...
